This journey that never ends..

New lens and a much needed flash

2010-11-15T02:10:00.004-05:00

How have I lived (and taken photos) without a proper flash all this time?? I am shaking my head as I see the test shots I have taken all evening in my dark backyard after buying a flash for my camera today. Not only am I giddy about finally buying the flash but I got a super sweet deal on both the sb-600 flash and the 55-200 VR Nikon lens I've been wanting to buy. This guy on craigslist wanted to get rid of both so bad and he gave me an awesome deal...too good to resist. So for the past few hours, my poor family has had a camera in the face and flashing lights in their eyes. I'm pretty sure they won't miss me when I leave! Ha!

On a side note, it has been too much fun and giggles doing Neurology at UNSOM here in Vegas. My attendings are super cool and chill and I have been seeing the most interesting neurological cases thus far. I'm sure my parents think I'm going to become a neurologist. Not quite though...I still love the babies and especially the mothers I deliver them to:) So far, I've stuck to my guns and am still thinking OB. I leave in exactly one week to head down to the DEEP SOUTH...the motherland aka "Samoa". I am so excited to go home again! It's been only a couple years but it feels like forever ago! I'll be doing my month long international elective in Obstetrics. Luckily, LBJ Tropical Medical Center is a bonafide baby factory!! Holla to the island girl that will be delivering them:)

But for now, I have to learn how to safely pack my camera gear, pack enough scrubs and tank tops (hot and humid is waiting for me on the island), and hopefully learn enough about child neurology in my one day on the service tomorrow.

This just caught my eye

2010-10-16T15:41:00.003-04:00

A quote I just read:
To most physicians, my illness is a routine incident in their rounds, while for me it’s the crisis of my life. I would feel better if I had a doctor who at least perceived this incongruity.

This statement is sadly true for some (hopefully not too many) patients. Coming from the medical side, I have seen this in action unfortunately. It's sad but I cannot answer to why it happens because I really don't know why some physicians do not have insight into how they act around their patients.

wow it's been ages

2010-10-16T15:29:00.002-04:00

Talk about writer's block. This has been a long dry spell in my writing on this blog. It totally defeats the purpose of me creating this blog in the first place as I planned to write my every step, road block, and hill climbed through the beast that is medical school. Ultimate fail! Well...it has been a really interesting year so far. I'm currently wrapping up the last week on psychiatry and then I'm off to Vegas for a month of Neurology at UMC. My schedule worked out fabulously as I will get to spend QT with my family for a month while doing a rotation and then I have a month in the motherland (Samoa...sigh) doing my international elective in obstetrics. Yippeee! I'm really excited about getting back into some baby catching action again! It's been way too long. My OB rotation was back in Jan/Feb which seemed like forever and a day ago. So this will be a nice refresher before I get into 2 months of primary care working in outpatient gynecology early spring next year. Exciting times ahead:)

I really should be studying for my psychiatry shelf and I only signed in to "follow" a friend's blog...but the NEW POST button was calling my name. Now, seeing my thoughts go straight to print is quite therapeutic...lesson learned. I really need to post more. A few friends have created blogs recently so that was another gentle reminder for me to start up this old engine again. Until the next post...which will hopefully be sooner than later...coocoocachoo:)

Pregnancy wheel app

2010-02-22T12:00:00.004-05:00

So I finally got around to downloading the pregnancy wheel application on my blackberry although my OB rotation is ending this week. I know...kinda late! I was using the good old school method although practically every intern and resident has an iphone with the wheel application. What prompted me to finally download the app was a very LONG 24 hour call of constantly trying to locate the wheel in my overly stuffed white coat. It once took me five minutes fumbling through all four pockets. Grrrr!

Anyways, so I'm reading the reviews on the blackberry app site and just had to chuckle a little bit with all the expectant mothers rating the app with 1 or 2 stars because the wheel only provided the estimated date of delivery and current gestational date based on the last menstrual period. One reviewer was disappointed because the wheel did not approximate the size of the baby/fetus. I think the only good rating came from a nurse who said the dates were really accurate for the wards. All I kept thinking while reading these reviews was how far we have come with technology that a phone application can cause unwarranted anxiety to patients. I'm actually surprised I haven't yet come across a patient on this rotation who hasn't busted out with their iphone/blackberry with their own app and telling us their approximate due dates! The joys of technology...at least now I don't have to fumble through my pockets for the wheel and looking like a hot mess third year med student. As it is, that already happens enough times!

Long weekend update

2010-02-15T13:52:00.002-05:00

Gosh! It's been forever and a day since I last wrote. A million things have happened but I really can't update all of my activities since my last post so I will update on the past weekend/month. Right now I'm on my OB rotation. One word: AWESOME! I knew I would really like it and was about 90% sure that OB is what I want to go into before I started my rotation, but now I'm convinced this is what I really want to do. We have eight weeks of OB, so the first month (January) I spent doing inpatient. Looking back, I guess I worked really long hours but I didn't notice much (besides how much weight I lost!) because I loved being there everyday and didn't mind waking up at 3 or 4 in the morning to go to work. The weight loss probably came from not eating because I slept whenever I wasn't at the hospital, and that included most meals. What else...oh yeah! I delivered babies while I was on inpatient! The hospital I worked at was a serious baby catching factory so the opportunities to deliver are pretty much endless. By far, delivering a baby has been the coolest thing EVER! I totally forgot what the sex of the first baby (pretty sure it was a girl) was due to my initial shock and fear of dropping the poor thing that I forgot to look! I'm a mess.

On inpatient, I also got my first taste of "conversing" in Spanish because most of patients at this hospital (at least OB) are Spanish speakers only. I put it in quotation marks because it's really me butchering the language. I'm kicking myself for taking German in high school and then French in college instead of Spanish. I mean, really, when am I ever going to use either of the other two? So my plan is to buy the Rosetta stone language program for Spanish and ease my way into learning it.

So now I'm on outpatient mostly working at this large group practice. The pace is much slower, which is nice so I get more time to study for my shelf (end of rotation exam) in a couple weeks. Today is a holiday so we're all enjoying the long weekend that is coming off a long week off. DC just has the biggest snow storm in over a hundred years I guess. The President dubbed it "snowmaggedon" so now all my facebook and twitter friends have pictures of snow EVERYWHERE! I was in Dupont Circle last night for dinner and most of the cars were still buried in feet of snow. The cute little dump trucks that have been a permanent fixture all over the city for the past week and a half were still working late last night trying to get as much snow shipped out of the district before tonight and tomorrow's snowfall. Yes, we are getting more! I've come to realize that I'm not a fan of snow. Although DC doesn't really snow all that much (at least for the last two winters before this one), this snowpocalypse has given me enough reason to decide on going to the west coast for residency. I'm a fan of ocean, sand, heat, tanning lotion, and turtles. Concrete, snow, ice, and thick coats are the completely opposite.

Chimera

2009-09-17T00:23:00.003-04:00

This is what Webster's defined as a chimera: an individual, organ, or part consisting of tissues of diverse genetic constitution. I wiki'd "chimera" first, but the definition was a little too "sciency" for the purpose of this post. Basically...my point here is that I recently discovered that my hair is in fact an example of a chimera. I recently got my hair trimmed (when I say recently, it usually means a range from 1-3 months) and the hair lady (yes, I cheated on my hair guy Kevin, but I was in Vegas in desperate need of major conditioning and apparently a trim as well) pointed out that I had two different kinds of hairs on my head. Weird!!

I, of course, knew this but it's a fact that I like to keep under wraps or on the low or on the low down dirty shame or in the hush hush...get the picture? Technically, my hair is curly...super curly in fact. But for some odd reason, the hair just above the nape of my neck is STRAIGHT. And it's not just a few random strands here and there. It's a whole spicy bunch of hair that is straight. When I flat iron my hair, there is no problemo. But what girl has the time to straight iron their hair everyday...especially when that girl has super thick samoan hair that even if you shaved half of it off to donate to Locks of Love, there's still enough left to hide the shaved parts.

The problem here happens when I maintain my "curly look", which basically entails me getting out of the shower, forcefully raking a comb through my hair and adding magical protein goop so that it doesn't look like Medusa's hair. An hour later when my hair is nice and dried, the straight hairs all come out and my head of hair proceed to look like two different people own my head...one takes the top of my head, the other takes the bottom.

It's soooo weird!!!!

New trilogy on the shelf

2009-08-31T03:31:00.005-04:00

I really cannot help this habit that I have. Whenever I travel, which happens to be quite a bit because I love to visit the familia in Vegas, I always stop by the newsstand or the bookstore in the airport to pick up something to read on my flight. I usually pack a book or two from my collection of unread books on my shelf at home before I travel so I don't have to spend money on yet more books. But...it never works out. I ALWAYS find something more interesting to read. This results in a bookshelf full of half-read books...all of them just waiting patiently for me to end their agony of sitting on my desk or beside my bed, all stacked up neatly one on top of the other.

I just realized this problem when I went home to my parent's house this past summer. Other than a high school photo on the wall, my old room doesn't really look like a room that I once inhabited...except for the books! My closet is full of them. The shelf has a pile and the floor of the closet has another pile. I even found some old books in the garage...still half-read! What a disaster. These books need a home, but yet they are still in lingo waiting for me to finish reading them and either put on a shelf or given away for someone else to read. Books are way too heavy for me to carry in my luggage. I have absolutely no trouble filling my suitcases to the maximum allotted weight with just clothes. Ask my friend Sala, who painstakingly helped me rearrange my clothes into HER SUITCASES throughout our entire trip in Australia just so I didn't have to pay the exorbitant luggage fees at the airport.

Oh gosh...I love how I start writing a post with the intention of describing what's on the title but it either never happens or it takes me forever and a day to get there. Anyways, I really hit the jackpot on my scavenger book hunt at the Las Vegas airport this past trip. I stumbled on the Mortal Instruments Trilogy by Cassandra Clare. If you're like me at the moment and totally depressed because not only is Harry Potter all grown up and married to Ginny without a named-but-should-be-nameless dark wizard to fight, but Bella and Edward also have a half-and-half vampire love clan of their own in the mountains of the Northwest (sorry for the tinsy spoiler for those who haven't finished reading). This leaves me without any extended novels about enchanted worlds to read! None! Until now...thanks to a bookstore in an airport.

Update: I have read the first two books in the MI Trilogy. I'm itching to buy the third book in the series: City of Glass. CAN'T WAIT!!!

I never thought I would say this....

2009-08-25T03:24:00.002-04:00

...but I officially hate flying. In the last month, I have been on ten airplanes and am getting on another one tomorrow morning to head back East. Don't get me wrong. I love traveling! But, I no longer have that uncontrollable excitement to get on an airplane anymore. I used to get all giddy because of all the free stuff you get on airplanes. (I used to collect airline blankets back in college. No one told me it wasn't free...don't judge me!) But now, nothing is free, really. Well, maybe the icky disgusting feeling of oily hair and congested face pimples that I always seem to get after every flight no matter how short the duration is.

To make matters worse, I can no longer sleep peacefully for long periods of time on any of my flights. Because I came back with a lovely DVT from my excursion in the Macchu Picchu mountains earlier this year, my doctor has recommended me to walk around on all flights every hour or so. It wasn't until I was doing aerobics with some 80 year old passengers in the back of my Qantas flight (going to New Zealand) did I realize that I really detest flying. Ugh...don't even get me started on the smell of the bathrooms on planes. Gross!

Quote of the day

2009-07-16T19:02:00.001-04:00

Came across this quote on twitter just now.

"I have an insatiable hunger for awesomeness...and a tireless pursuit for the amazing".

I like it. I'm going with it.

Tyranny of Popular Vote

2009-05-15T14:13:00.003-04:00

This is an essay written by my Grandpa Janairo back in the 1930's. My dad has quoted parts of this essay since my childhood and luckily a copy was found recently. Thought I'd share it.

Tyranny of the Popular Vote
Man irks under the burden of compulsory obedience. It is repulsive to his sense of self respect that he should be made to follow blindly and to accept ungrudgingly that which is imposed upon him to be sheer superiority. He has revolted from spiritual tyranny when Martin Luther flung his memorable defiance in the Council of Nantes and declared that the human spirit can not be imprisoned by bigotry and fanaticism. Man struck the death knell of corporate tyranny when the days of the feudal lords were declared gone forever by the onrushing tide of human freedom embodied in the Magna Carta of England and the Declaration of Independence of the United States of America. Political liberty has been since its birth the antithesis of tyranny. And yet, paradoxical as it may seem, it has brought about, by the strength of its ideal and the dynamic force of its principle, a new tyranny strong because its set is the masses, uncompromising because it springs from ignorance, powerful because it is regarded as the people’s voice. This offspring of democracy is the tyranny of popular vote.

Need to write again

2009-05-12T03:27:00.003-04:00

Wow....I cannot believe my last post was over a month ago! Crazy! I really need to start writing again. I'm actually back in Vegas to study for the boards. Finals finished last week Friday and that's all I have to say about that. Glad that's over with.

Because I will be here in Vegas for two months, my suitcases for traveling were both overweight but at least the guy at the US Airways counter felt so sorry for me (maybe I looked like a hot mess from packing and moving all weekend and from recovering from a huge hangover) that he let me check my begs without paying. Holla! He did give me some advice..."in the future, pack lighter". What a funny man.

So yeah, it's great to be back home. The heat is exhausting. I hung out with the parentals all day doing this and that and came home looking like a crispy lobster. Gotta love the heat in this city:) For dinner, we tried the new buffet at the new M hotel. OMG! By far, this has to be the best buffet in the city! They have free (as in included in the price) wine and beer. And because they had this station at the front entrance, the buffet really had me at hello:) All in all, a great day! Tomorrow...the real work starts.

Countdown to June 19th begins right now. Wish me luck!

Chronic disease is depressing

2009-04-09T23:12:00.004-04:00

It is. It may not be readily apparent but it's there...

I just got off the phone from a long conversation with a family member, whom I greatly admire and adore and our conversation made me feel a lot of things. Helplessness. Depressed. Sorrow. Admiration. It is a nice palm-sized slap of reality when I have these conversations and learn about other people's circumstances, because many times I am wrapped in a nice comfortable bubble...called medical school. I cannot believe I'm calling med school a comfortable situation, but it's all relative. Compared to my cousin's life right now, mine is just peachy.

It is peachy because I do not have a father who is sick and undergoing chemotherapy. It is peachy because I do not have to worry on a constant basis whether my father's lab results this week will require him to undergo another transfusion...one of a countless number that he's already been through. My life is peachy because I am not the one taking care of a patient who has a chronic medical condition that will eventually take his life and that patient is my own father.

My classmates and I often discuss the issue of managing chronic illnesses and how difficult that will be. Every patient is different and may not respond to the treatments you prescribe, especially in a condition like cancer. The treatment is steps beyond the fact that you have to break bad news to them and that they have to deal with the bad news you bring them. This doesn't even address the fact that you may not have all the answers...especially if you're not telling them the answers that they want to hear. Some people will have diabetes forever. It won't be cured. How depressing is that kind of news to anyone? In my uncle's condition, there is no known cure. There are treatments that can help prolong his life but the bottom line is, there is no cure.

So all I could offer my cousin in her time of need was a pair of ears and moments of reassurance that hopefully this treatment will work. And hopefully her dad will tolerate this treatment. And although her parents look at her as being the "bad guy" in the situation, what she is doing is admirable. She is taking care of her sick father to the best of her ability. Because he is her father and as a child, anyone would want to take care of their parents in any way possible.

It is tough when the lines between the "caretaker role" and being a daughter gets blurred. I am sorry she has to go through this. I'm sorry for anyone to have to go through that, especially the individual who has the condition.

As I evaluate the events of my day and remember the many moments of me complaining about how much life sucks because I am stressing about school, it's conversations like this that help me adjust the lens so that I tread purposefully (hopefully with fewer complaints) in the right direction of life education.

Taking the beast out

2009-03-13T23:12:00.000-04:00

Just doing some random test shots with my beast of a camera before I head out to Peru tomorrow. I'm overly excited at how many pictures I'll be getting this coming week! Wish me luck:)

10th Annual Student Charity Auction

2009-03-11T02:06:00.004-04:00

Hey hey!

This year I have the pleasure of co-chairing GW's annual student auction, which benefits the HEALing Clinic (GW's Student Clinic). Currently, it runs through the District of Columbia's Bread for the City Organization, which is an all-in-one non-profit entity that provides all types of services, including medical care, to those in need.

It's a combined effort as both the Classes of 2011 and 2012 are working together to fund-raise money through the student auction to help fund the running costs of our awesome clinic! These running costs include overhead expenses such as electricity, water, heat, etc...as well as labs and drugs for the patient. Physicians volunteer their time and students (us) are there to gain more experience and learn more about vulnerable populations who do not have health insurance, who may be homeless, or who do not have adequate health care coverage.

I worked at the HEALing Clinic last year and first learned how to take a patient's blood pressure (old school style...not with those fancy shmancy electronic bp machines), presented my first patient to an attending and got a peek into the lives of some of DC's poor residents, who sadly may have so many co-morbid conditions. This was my first lesson into primary care.

Anyways, the clinic does great work and has some awesome people running it who are very passionate about "serving the underserved". Remember that clever little "pull at your heart strings" answer everyone says at their medical school interview? Hahaha...

Well, we are having this fundraising auction on April 17th. If anyone would like to donate an item of any type (art, wine, basketball game tickets, ballet/theatre tickets, gift certificates) or if you have the hook-up anywhere, please let me know! And if you're in DC on that date, please feel free to join! We hope to have enough wine and food for everyone and of course...some mad bidding going on:)

To see a list of items: Goodies

oh boards...

2009-03-08T15:51:00.003-04:00

So I finally got enough courage to open up my USMLEWORLD account to start "studying" for Step 1. My subscription just recently started last weekend, but I needed a little motivation to actually open it up and start practicing with some questions. The motivation came from a small lecture one of our deans gave on Thursday about how we all should be practicing with questions at this time in our studies. "Should be"...are the key words here. For some unknown reason, I have it in my head that I can start studying when finals for this semester's courses are over...and it will all be okay with me passing in the end. Hahaha...I'm such a comedian sometimes.

Anyways...so I open my account and start taking these practice tests that I categorize by subject. I don't want to go into full blown depression about my lack of knowledge from the past two years of med school, so I create a test on my "easier" subjects like Biostatistics and Psychiatry. Boy did I get a rude awakening! Who knew that specificity and sensitivity can be plotted on a graph against each other?! *sigh*

After one test, I realized that I need to re-evaluate the rest of my semester. So...I decided to head to the kitchen to cook myself lunch, dinner, and food for the next couple days. "I can't think straight on an empty stomach" was a good enough reason to procrastinate studying even more. Then came my laundry. And now, blogging about the fact that I NEED TO START STUDYING! AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Ok, I'm done. I will go study now. I feel much better after venting/justifying/procrastinating on blogger.

Gmail's backgrounds

2009-03-08T00:34:00.002-05:00

So I've been trying out the different backgrounds for gmail in the last few days. Since I spend a substantial amount of time looking at emails, I might as well enjoy the scenery. I was only prompted to try out the different options recently, though. Since this feature came out, I had the "ninja" theme. I find it really cute that at the very bottom of my email page, the ninja husband and ninja wife are eating dinner together. I like to think this happens around my dinner time in the evening, but alas, i discovered that the ninja meal is a semi-permanent fixture. Wouldn't that be cool though? I think there's one theme where the time of day and the weather in your city will be displayed on your screen as part of the themed background....I think. Unless I'm totally making this up. Anyways...I tried the different themes and am now back to the ninjas. I can't seem to let them go just yet.

Twitter-nation

2009-03-05T02:24:00.001-05:00

I am in "Status update heaven"! It's official...I found my new crack and it's Twitter.

Concert update

2009-03-04T23:05:00.002-05:00

I went to see Missy Higgins play at the 9:30 club this past Monday, and I was floored at how amazing she was live! Amazing! Lenka, a fellow Aussie (oy! oy! oy!), opened for her. What an adorable girl she is:) She had birds and little toy animals strategically placed all over the stage. It was great for me...because I like looking at the entire stage setup including whats on the ground and what color the mic is and all that jazz. It just made me smile every time I found little fake cute birds swinging from her band's instruments. Luckily, I was close enough to see all these things...center stage and front row. I also saw the list of the whole set Missy was planning to play for the night. Sadly, the "Special Two" wasn't on the list. But...holla at your girl! Front row and center! And we didn't get to the club that early either. However, it was also a snow day in the District so I guess people were less inclined to stand in the cold too far in advance before the concert started.

It's so bad now, though, because I was listening to Missy on my ipod this morning on my way to school but I had to switch to another artist because she was absolutely amazing live that I can't really listen to her recorded stuff just yet.

On another note, she played this instrument that I have never seen before. It sounds just like a harmonica but you blow air into this tube that is connected to a tiny little piano. Does anyone know what this instrument is called? Lol...it's such a cute little thing!

An angel in Hell

2009-02-15T16:35:00.005-05:00

I was just about ready to start studying when I came across this link to an article on Glamour magazine by Eve Ensler (The Vagina Monologues). She traveled deep into the Republic of Congo to follow the work of Dr. Denis Mukwege, who runs the OB/GYN ward at Panzi Hospital.

Ms. Ensler warns readers before-hand of the horrors you will read in this article, but what is astonishing is how mind-blowing femicide has become in this region of the world. Everyone hears about the stories of rape victims and they are all traumatic. However, reading through the individual accounts from the survivors of these atrocities gives me chills knowing that there are human beings that are capable of such destruction.

I believe the author makes an excellent point in her article in saying that these acts of violence are done to achieve a goal: destroying the human soul. My heart broke in reading about how strong these women are and how they are able to live each day with hope. It is a comfort knowing that there are amazing people, like Dr. Mukwege around in this world, who dedicate their lives to repairing the after-math of inhumane violence.

Here's an excerpt from the article quoting Dr. Mukwege on why he became a physician: “My father was a pastor. He was very gentle, very human. From him I got the caring to treat patients. When we would go and visit sick people together, he would pray. I would ask, ‘Why can’t you give them tablets or prescriptions?’ He said, ‘I am not a doctor.’ I decided then that prayer is not enough. People must take things into their own hands. Asking God does not change anything. He gives us the ability to say yes or no. You must use your hands, your mind. When I receive women here who are hungry, I can’t say, ‘God bless you.’ I have to give them something to eat. When someone is suffering, I can’t tell her about God, I have to treat her pain. You can’t hide yourself in religion. Not a solution.”

In this part of the world, Dr. Mukwege is the doctor, healer, pastor, prayer leader, comforter, advocate and listener...I'll add one more to the list: inspiration.

Induced labor

2009-02-05T18:56:00.002-05:00

Today I saw seven patients with my preceptor, which is the most I have ever seen on a given afternoon in her office. Usually there are two other students besides myself and today there was only one, so maybe that's why I was able to see more patients.

There was nothing too out of the ordinary with today's patients. There was one lady who had an aweful year with both her grandmother and mother passing away within a month of each other. That's so aweful. She also was on a job placement abroad with her spouse when the hotel they were staying at was bombed by terrorists. Yikes! That's a story you don't hear everyday. I always feel awkward in these kinds of situations, because I never know what to say. Death in the family is one thing and I can empathize with that, but a near death experience from a bomb!?! Hmmm.... "that must have been so frightening!" I think my eye balls nearly popping out of its sockets was enough concern for my patient's taste.

On a side note, another patient wanted to be induced into labor on Friday the 13th. Now that's a first. Usually people attempt to stay hidden under something sturdy in fear of something terrible happening to them on Friday the 13th. I know I tread through my day a little more carefully on 04/20 because I went to a high school that constantly had bomb threats on that day to celebrate the Columbine shootings. So this patient has an interesting outlook on life requesting this date. But maybe she wants her baby born on Valentine's Day...who knows. However, she was told by my preceptor that if she was induced on Friday, she will likely have her baby that day. I'm secretly rooting for her to have her baby on Saturday, though...just to be on the safe side.

Month of concerts

2009-02-05T18:45:00.004-05:00

It has been an awesome past couple days. First, I found out randomly that one of my favorite singers will be coming to DC early March. Missy Higgins, the singer-songwriter from Down Under will be playing at the 9:30 club on March 2nd and who else to open for her but that one cute Asian guy, Justin Nozuka:) This concert alone made my week! I've been dying to see Missy live and I just watched an update on her U.S. Green tour...and what do you know...I'll be seeing her myself! Holla!

Then...I was sitting in my normal back corner of the lecture hall listening so attentively to cases of nephrotic syndrome while checking my emails on the AnnaBerry (my blackberry) when I stumbled on an informational email from the GradLife Office announcing ticket sales of Jason Mraz and Ben Folds for a concert next weekend. OMG! There are three bands/artists that I would just fall over if I saw live and the Geek in the Pink is one of those artists! Holla again:) It will be a great month of live music!

Air going nowhere

2009-02-03T23:59:00.004-05:00

Ok...what kind of genius attempts to pump air into a bike tire but somehow proceeds to completely deflate the tire?? There goes my brilliant plan to ride my bike early tomorrow morning to take a spin class. Bummer.

The sidewalk steals gloves

2009-02-02T16:54:00.003-05:00

I was walking to school this morning and came across a lonely blue glove lying on the sidewalk on New Hampshire Ave and two blocks down from there, found another lonely and misplaced glove (a red one this time) laying on some grass. This made me even more angry than I already was because I was desperately searching for my left hand glove minutes earlier at home!

I loved this particular pair of gloves too! I'm so sad right now, which probably explains why I've been in such a sour mood all day.

Video of the Big day

2009-01-30T00:01:00.003-05:00

Journey to History - The Inauguration of Barack Obama - Documentary from Juneteenth Works on Vimeo.

So my roommate Amisha's friend, Chilembwe Mason, made this video of our Obama extravaganza on January 20th, 2009. I'm so glad he made this because I really couldn't see too much over the huge cowboy hat (yes...the one you see right in the middle) and 6 footers directly in front of me. No love for the shorties.

An old article and 798 MB of memory

2009-01-28T22:55:00.004-05:00

Last night as I was about ready to turn in for the night, which is a rarity because I never PREPARE to go to sleep, I stumbled on an old article I found saved on my computer that was written about my last season playing tennis at the "U", aka the University of Montana. I was actually trying to back up some old files onto my external hard drive so I can free up some space on my computer.

Supposedly, computers don't have an unlimited amount of memory that I can use and abuse to download all my music and pictures and nerdy med school audio lectures. Who knew!? And a couple days ago, this annoying window on my computer kept popping up telling me that I had an urgent problem that I needed to address. Of course, "urgent" without anything related to medical school doesn't really translate to mean "important" to me. You know...little things like life insurance, overdraft fees on my bank account, and dental appointment notices really get lost in the shuffle of things. So...a tiny little annoying window on my computer will definitely get last dibs on my attention. Oh, but my wonderful little punk of a dell didn't like to be ignored and has now upgraded to demanding my attention by making all kinds of weird noises. I finally checked the "urgent" notices and pleasantly found out that I have only 798 MB of memory left for me to use and abuse. That's not even enough memory for a decent discography of Michael Jackson.

This is so depressing.

So I proceeded to save everything on my external and found a few files to delete when I stumbled on the article, which was the point of me writing this blog but somehow it has shifted to me rambling on and on about this stinky dell and it's annoying messages.

Anyways, the article was written about my last season and how I was losing in the beginning of the season...haha. I was captain and having the most agonizing losing streak of my college tennis career. Other than the not so few number of rejection letters I received when applying to medical school, this was another low point in my life. I read it twice last night just reminiscing about how much fun it was playing college tennis. Even losing was fun at times if the match was good. I remember playing this awesome tennis player from Sacramento state and actually having a great time despite her kicking my ass and leaving me with a couple bagels (translation = score was 6-0, 6-0). Oh the memories!

I miss playing sometimes and probably should get the dusty racket and some balls out one of these days.

Obama-nation:)

2009-01-20T23:45:00.008-05:00

Thanks to Dave and Tyson for giving us tickets!! So awesome:)

"We are a young nation"

2009-01-20T23:19:00.004-05:00

Today, I witnessed history. Excitement to see the first black President of the United States take his oath into office rippled through me- so much so that I could not get a wink of sleep last night! I stood with millions of Americans today in the freezing cold only several feet behind the Capitol's frozen-over reflecting pool and one jumbo-tron screen away from our current Commander-in-chief.

It's difficult to describe all the emotions and feelings I was going through as I waited for him to take his first few steps as our President. My fingers and toes are still thawing out 12 hours later from standing in freezing temperatures from 5 am this morning. But as soon as he addressed us, all my attention was focused on every word he said with an effort to remember my surroundings so that one day in the future I can vividly describe today's events to my children and grandchildren.

And as he ended his beautifully written and delivered speech, I could not help but take pride in the fact that my generation has helped put this man into office. My generation helped make this change- a change so important for anyone who follows President Obama that human equality is achievable. There is no better way to say it than a single mother from Mckeesport said right before this election ended "Rosa sat so Martin could walk. Martin walked so Obama could run. Obama ran so our children could fly."

The following is the full inaugural address of President Barack Hussein Obama.

My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and co-operation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms.

At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because we, the people, have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

We have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land - a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America - they will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted - for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things - some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labour, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and travelled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and ploughed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.

Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions - that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act - not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. All this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions - who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

We reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them - that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply.

The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works - whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account - to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day - because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control - that a nation cannot prosper long when it favours only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on the ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart - not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defence, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our founding fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and we are ready to lead once more.

We will not apologise for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defence

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with the sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort - even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the spectre of a warming planet. We will not apologise for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defence, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus - and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West - know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honour them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment - a moment that will define a generation - it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends - honesty and hard work, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism - these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths.

What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility - a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence - the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed - why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than 60 years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have travelled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive... that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it]."

America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Thank you. God bless you. And God bless the United States of America.

...and THANK YOU Jon Favreau for being the "mind" of Obama.

DC is poppin' and buzz'n

2009-01-18T14:23:00.004-05:00

Yessir... the District has made a transformation overnight. I'm slightly overwhelmed at how many people are being squished into this tiny little place. But it's exciting! Studying has been pushed to the back burner to be replaced with the long weekend of events and I'm too busy not worrying about my Cardio/Pulm exam coming up next week. Isn't that terrible? I'm way too excited to concentrate on studying.

Tuesday will be HUGE! I just picked up my tickets to inauguration yesterday from Senator Reid's (of Nevada) office and was super giddy walking home (in the freezing cold). We're going to be standing in a grid in front of the reflecting pool. Not bad...but we will have to be there really early, which means bundling up for arctic temperatures. This might be just me though. I'm an island girl and anything below 60 is uncomfortably cold. So my attire will include many layers topped off with my nice warm fluffy coat with the furry hood. I get called "The Eskimo" often from friends, but that's okay. As long as I'm warm, I'm good to go.

I will update more on this after Tuesday's event and will probably include photos. Here are some pictures I took on my way to the Senate office building. It was weird that there weren't many people around.

Things to do when an abundance of free time is on your hands

2008-12-28T23:51:00.003-05:00

So I made a list a couple posts back of the things I wanted to do over this winter break. I'm excited to announce that I actually checked off a few things. The big one is that I finished watching the whole first season of Heroes. Holla at your girl! Now I understand the obsession that my roommate has with the show. I'm trying to finish season two so at least I'll be somewhat caught up in order to carry a decent conversation about super human powers:)

As for the Twilight saga...I'm almost done. Book three was tackled today...so melodramatic! Bella is quickly becoming a character I despise. Granted that her friends are vampires and werewolves and it's hard to hold her own among them...but still...she's getting on my nerves!

So far, my winter break has been so relaxing. My sister and I have been hanging out doing random things. I went out with my parents last night to listen to some music at a lounge...shout out to J.A.M.M. who plays nightly except Mondays at Bally's Hotel Lounge. I've also been taking pictures...lots and lots of pictures with my new Nikon D80. Finally got it! Yay!

At the very least, I accomplished a big goal: Med school is currently NOT on the brain.

Weddings

2008-12-21T02:00:00.002-05:00

I'm convinced that weddings are the best things on earth:) I just got back from a wedding of a dear friend and I had the most fabulous time! It was like a family reunion of sort because some old friends were there and some of my parents' old friends were there...people who we grew up calling "aunty" and "uncle". Yeah, they were all there! haha. It was a good time. The most hilarious part of the night was when the bartender said we were his busiest patrons...as in me and my sister. How sad!

Laundry list for winter break...

2008-12-14T02:47:00.003-05:00

Because I can't seem to stop thinking about Christmas and winter break, although I have two monstrous exams looming over me, I will write out ten things I would like to do or need to do this break.
1. Attend a wedding of an old friend- TOP OF THE LIST!
2. Hiking at least once with my sister
3. Snowboard with Susan for the first time....ahh!
4. Analyze my data from my summer project...this is a "NEED TO DO" but not a "want".
5. Watch Heroes seasons 1, 2, and...is it season 3 now? I will make my mom watch with me.
6. Finish books 2 and 3 of Twilight
7. A handful of spin classes...this may be pushing it.
8. NEVER SIGN ONTO GMAIL...NOT EVEN ONCE!
9. Play Rockband with Clari and the gang.
10. Visit Firefly's to drink some sangria and eat some tres leches...yum!

I didn't get the memo about Christmas season.

2008-12-13T19:20:00.001-05:00

The madness begins...

Scenario

2008-12-13T01:11:00.002-05:00

Today I finished my first of four final exams for this semester and as soon as I walked out of the exam room, I went straight into my study room to set up shop. Many hours later into studying about lymphomas for Monday's Path final, my roommate (who is one of my classmates) asks me one of those "would you rather" type of questions. This is a snippet of our conversation with another one of our classmates:

Roommate: "Would you rather give birth to a baby or go through second year all over again?"

Me: *stunned and speechless*

Other classmate: "Are you crazy? I don't want to tear."

Roommate: "No, seriously. I think I would rather deliver a child than go through this semester again."

Me: *Still stunned and speechless with crossed eyes from staring at my computer screen for way too long>*

Other classmate: "Well...I would rather deliver a child than go through the first TWO years of medical school. If someone were to take my place for the first couple years of med school and I would have to deliver a baby in return, I would sign up for that...I would deliver three children!"

Roommate: "That's just excessive. I just asked about one child. Heck no I wouldn't have more than one! Are you nuts?"

Me: "I think I agree with classmate on this one, roommate. I would deliver three children in the place of the first two years of med school. Just get it done and over with. No big deal."

Productive studying at its best.

Picture says it all...

2008-12-12T22:04:00.001-05:00

TIME SENSITIVE: Master's Program Scholarship

2008-12-10T19:53:00.002-05:00

So a friend sent me these applications, but I'm already in a program of study. The University of Ryukyus in Japan is looking to accept and offer a scholarship to one Samoan from Apia to complete a Master's Program in health sciences. The application is due soon as they're looking to start classes in March of the coming year. If you know anyone, please send them my email and I will be happy to send them the application for this wonderful opportunity!

Thanks,
Email: annabjana@gmail.com

3 olives shake it up...i like it dirty.

2008-12-09T23:31:00.005-05:00

Today was a little interesting...which is surprising considering that all I have been doing for the last few weeks involved me being permanently plastered to a chair and table. So this was a treat...sort of.

Today, we were trained on the Genital-urinary exam and I performed my first prostate and rectal exam on a male. Now, I know what you're thinking. But, you have to understand that for the past year and a half of my medical school career, ALL of my patients have been women because I follow around an OB/GYN. Not that I'm complaining because I'm really interested in going into something related to women's health. But when something so different comes around, IT'S INTERESTING!

First, I have to say that our standardized patients were great today. They were extremely professional and very proficient in teaching this exam. I honestly cannot imagine getting multiple speculum exams multiple times in one day by a number of different people, but I guess they are very well compensated for their "troubles". But still...compensation would have to be SUBSTANTIAL for me to agree to get up on the stirrups voluntarily and more than once...and even if that were the case, I can honestly say that I would still say "NO!" So, I'm really grateful that there are people who are willing to sacrifice their bodies and a little of their dignity so little pre-docs like me can learn:)

Also, I have come to the conclusion that the woman's wellness exam is not only much more difficult- it's extremely messy! I mean...guys have it so much easier. A cough here and there, a "minimal" prod in the rear, and we can call it a day. Well, it's not that simple but...just the speculum exam alone requires some hard knock thinking. Have you ever held one of those speculums? It LOOKS dangerous and I'm sure if you tried walking through airport security with it, you will get tackled to the ground by a dude of substantial weight and size, at the minimum! And the instrument has to be manipulated with only one hand, while the other hand figures out all the swabbing and collecting of samples. Opportunities for technical difficulties are at every corner.

What's even worse is that I'm one of those people who's facial expressions give away everything that goes on in the brain. It's a real surprise that I come away from poker tables with some money still in my pocket. So while I fumble awkwardly with the speculum, my face sells me out on the fact that a) i have no idea what i am doing (BIG surprise here!) b) i'm agitated from no sleep and not eating all day and c) all i want to do is sit on the beach, which is what i always want to do. Oh...let me add that a festive but strong cosmo is very much needed, which would be d.

Thanksgiving fun!

2008-12-06T16:50:00.007-05:00

I had so much fun this Thanksgiving because I managed to keep going home a big secret from my parents. They were pleasantly surprised when I met them and my sister at dinner the Wednesday before Turkey Day. I mean...how could I possibly not be home on my absolute favorite holiday? I did use the excuse that I needed to study when I broke the "bad news" to my parents that I wouldn't be going home for Thanksgiving this year...and of course, they bought it! Hahaha....the schemes.

My cousin Andrew, who is a marine stationed in Okinawa was visiting his brother and mom for the holiday so we had a special guest this year. And of course, there's never a complete Thanksgiving without some poker. Holla at your girl for winning a round of poker!

Being sick aint no fun!

2008-12-02T19:32:00.003-05:00

Last night, I got home and felt rather queasy. I figured it was my stomach telling me it didn't like my rapid change of food from yummy delicious Thanksgiving food to the boring med student meal of sandwiches. So I get ready to study and learn about viruses and very quickly, the queasy feeling became this uncontrollable urge to puke. Of course at this point, I'm laid out on my bed with my laptop trying to concentrate on the material but it gets quite difficult considering the room is spinning a little. I then run to the bathroom and try not to look at the toilet because it will be all over at that point. I splash some water on my face and take a few deep breaths. The wave of nausea passes...and I figure that I'm safe to get back into the comfy confines of my bed.

The night then progresses into my laptop falling off my bed onto the floor (luckily, my room is carpeted and my bed isn't too far up from the floor) and me writhing in pain from this stomach situation. Oh God, I think. I canot afford to get sick right now! I have so much studying to do and my night is now over. Gosh, I hate being sick!

Whatever it is I got, it sucks! It's amazing how terrible you feel when you get sick. Your body doesn't feel right. The world doesn't feel right. And everything just gets out of your own control. It's now day 2 of this thing that I have been calling gastroenteritis/food poisoning/stomach flu (I refuse to go see a doctor bc I dont have time) and I still haven't eaten and really don't feel an urge to eat in fear that I will expel the contents in some way.

A thought just came to mind...does anyone have a good recipe for chicken soup?

Holy Moly...how did I get so behind?

2008-12-01T02:20:00.003-05:00

This is a question I ask myself EVERYDAY in medical school and I ask this of myself when I just remembered about my blog. Haha. I just realized that it has been a while since I last posted. I really can't write up on what I like to call the "back scoop" because it would take way too long and it's already 2:30 am, which is way past my bed time. So, I will sum it up as best as I can. Here goes...

So, the last set of exams were cruel and unusual punishment...even the worst terrorist wouldn't deserve those exam questions. I turned 25 and celebrated with some fabulous people and wine, of course...but sadly, I didn't get an opportunity to blow out candles and make a wish for the next year of life...but that's okay, because I made a wish while sipping from a wine glass:) I decided to surprise my parents over Thanksgiving by flying home and playing tourist with them and my sister, Deidre, for a couple nights on the LV Strip. I consumed an exorbitant amount of food, played poker (and won), and spent time with family on Thanksgiving Day. I am currently obsessing over getting two things: a nose piercing and a Nikon D80 (I know...I'm still thinking about it). The nose piercing will have to wait until Christmas because I have way too many military obligations this semester. I am praying every possible second to pass my exams in 3 weeks so that I can enjoy a dear friends' wedding (shout-out to Christine who will no longer be a single gal in t-minus 3 weeks). And last but not least, I just bought the new Blackberry touch phone (Storm)...this thing is pretty sweet but SUPER ANNOYING TO LEARN! I must confess that this was the first handbook I read cover to cover. Such a loser! I thought I could figure it out on my own, but finally gave up when I locked myself out of MY OWN PHONE and had to go to the Verizon store and ask for help on this one issue. I know the Verizon guy thought I was some kind of nincompoop.

Until the next post, hasta pasta.

Medical Student interviews

2008-11-06T13:15:00.004-05:00

I love talking to interviewees who visit my school in hopes to attain admission to GW's medical school. It really does serve as a humble reminder of where I started in this long process. It also brings about bad memories of obsessively checking emails for new updates from any of the schools I applied to and of heartaches from the many, many rejection letters as well. Trust me....there were many.

The application process is seriously a crap-shoot in my opinion. You start applying to medical school in the first week of June and have to be "verified" by the online application company. Verified means having every piece of relevant information about your life submitted into the database. This includes transcripts from all the schools that you attended, a personal statement about your interest in medicine, and descriptions about every relevant experience you may have had that you want all the medical schools to know about...just so they can look you up and hopefully find that your love for garage sale shopping is unique and interesting...so much so that they will offer you an interview at their school. Not! No, I'm just kidding. The process then continues up until about May of the following year when you pretty much know whether you received admission anywhere or whether to assess your options for the future i.e. reapply the next cycle, wait a couple years, or re-evaluate if this is really what you want to do.

But, do you see how aweful this can become? As an applicant, you have enough self-esteem to really think that you're good enough and smart enough to get into medical school, but then you receive your first out-right rejection from some school and it really burns you. What...they didn't even want to get to know me? They're just going to reject me without even getting to know?!? What kind of people are they? Don't they know that I have done this and that and this... and the list goes on and on. And the rejections keep flying in. I actually thought about getting a separate mailing address for all these rejection letters because it was so disheartening.

The thing is is that you could be spectacular, but just had bad luck in the process. Someone who may have looked at your file and who saw your love for garage sale shopping (in addition to your passion to help save people's lives) may absolutely hate hand-me-downs. Maybe they grew up being the youngest of 10 children who ALWAYS got the leftovers from the big sibs and despised it their whole lives that once they went on their own, they made it a life long vow to never buy something used EVER AGAIN! I mean...who knows?

So yeah. Talking to applicants really helps remind me of the bad days when I first started in this process, where I prayed every day for some school to look at my file and invite me to their school for an interview just to learn that I am worth the investment. Half the battle is translating your passion and determination on paper and the other half is really proving it. For this reason, I like to talk to applicants and offer some encouragement that medicine is really great once you get in. It is more than anything I expected in a good way and even though it was a tough road to get here, I would do it over again. The thing that makes me sad about this process is how many great individuals who get so disheartened by the rejections and the closed doors, that they re-evaluate and choose another field, even though they could have been excellent physicians. *Insert sad face here*

Remember where you are right now...

2008-11-04T23:55:00.003-05:00

Because history has been made today. As Americans, we came together as a country to vote for the first African American President of the United States. I have never been so proud to be an American until today, and I am extremely moved to be part of the generation to put this man into office. Tonight is a day to remember and to talk about with our children and grandchildren. As I sit here and listen to the acceptance speech by the man who moved a nation to make change happen and to believe in a symbol of changing America, I am literally moved to tears by this huge milestone that we have achieved.

I saw President Barack Hussein Obama last night in his last rally as senator with almost 90,000 of my fellow Americans in Manassas, Virginia. Seeing him speak with my frozen fingers in my pockets, I beamed with pride that this man was most likely going to serve as our future President. I had to take a moment to really embrace what exactly was taking place.

Remember this time and place. Because it will go down in the history books. And yes, we do have work to do as a country, but I believe that America has voted for the right person to serve the needs of all Americans. He is truly a symbol of good change that we need. And as his followers chant, "Yes We Can", I join in cheer with tears in my eyes knowing that my vote absolutely counted in this historic night.

Fired Up and Ready to go.......

Yeah that's right!

2008-11-03T11:30:00.003-05:00

I have to thank one of my classmates, Megan, for listing this video in her gchat status update. This is so powerful...pretty much everything you want to say on the issue, except so much better.

Should I get one?

2008-11-01T23:04:00.002-04:00

I've been eyeing the Nikon D80 Digital SLR for quite some time and have been going back and forth on whether I should buy it. The pendulum swings back and forth from yes to no...sometimes multiple times a day. Yes, I am that indecisive! This is why I love buffets and buffets love me (at least my midsection). I don't really have to make a choice because all the options are available to me:) Should I get it or should I not? Should I wait? Oh gosh...another question just got inserted into the mix. How does a pendulum swing in three directions?

NY Times article on burned out med students

2008-11-01T22:59:00.002-04:00

So true. We are worked to the bone. It will only get harder. It is a depressing time in our lives. And it may seem like we are masochists because most of us would probably do it all over again and not do anything else. More on this later. I need to spit out the bitter taste of exams first.

From class time to patient time

2008-10-30T21:06:00.003-04:00

So last week Thursday, I slept through four alarms and found myself almost an hour later to my "Practice of Medicine" class...something we GW med students like to call the "touchy-feely side of medicine". So I snuck in late and as my small group wrapped up the discussion, my physician mentor called upon the late person (me) to do the first standardized patient interview. These are actors who get paid by the med school to act out as patients in a clinical setting. I did read the required readings, but completely missed the discussion on who my first patient was going to be. However, I found out really fast just what I was in store for. Needless to say, there was a vomit of mistakes as I fumbled through one of the most uncomfortable exercises I have had thus far in medical school.

My "patient" was a 17 year-old female who came into the clinic for her first woman's wellness exam because of complaints of vaginal itching and redness. Her mother accompanied her, explaining that her daughter had something "not sexually-related going on down there". Of course, me being me and because I missed the discussion, I outright asked the "Are you sexually active?" question right after the young patient described her symptoms of itchiness and redness on her vagina.

First, I must commend the actress who played the part of the controlling-but-yet-forgivable-because-her-duaghter-is-17 mother because she did her job well. By the time I was done interviewing (miserably) and was able to successfully kick out the mother from the examining room so that I can get the "real" answers from my fake patient, I was sweating profusely and completely exhausted. I was exhausted because I really didn't know what part I had to play here. If I was really a physician in this scenario, it would have been a lot easier to explain to the mother that her daughter is almost an adult and that regardless of whether she was sexually active or not, she is on the cusp of becoming an adult and needs to be treated as one now. But, I understand how hard this would be for any parent to do...letting their kids become independent individuals. It's a tough decision, which is why I stumbled shamefully all over myself in this interview.

Anyways...this whole scenario wasn't the point of this blog. Today, I took a full history for a new obstetrics patient for my physician mentor. The patient is a 19 year old who was accompanied by her mother and the father of the baby, who is also 19 years old. I knocked on the examination room door and walked into this crowded room and just prayed that this mother would not be like last week's mother. Oh my goodness...because if that was the case, I really don't think I would get through the million questions I had to ask from every new OB patient. Luckily, the mother was silent (she was texting in her iphone the whole time) throughout the whole questioning except for once when she piped up to the FOB (father of baby) that he needed to answer my genetics questions as well. She wasn't really paying attention to the fact that I was asking him the questions as well and he responded to my questions by shaking or nodding his head. Although this interview was nowhere near as uncomfortable as last week's fake scenario, it was still a little weird to be asking all these personal questions from my patient with two other people in the room.

So I successfully got through asking all the questions, including when she thought her last menstrual period was and calculated how far along she was in her pregnancy (about 10 weeks according to the wheel). I then left the room and presented my patient to my physician and we entered the room to do the physical exam, pelvic exam, and pap smear (which I did...yay!). Low and behold, home girl was off in her date by two months! We felt the size of her uterus and approximated her pregnancy to be closer to 18 weeks instead of 10 weeks. Now this news wasn't received very well by our patient. She seemed very sure that her last period was 10 weeks ago. The only one smiling was the "father of the baby"...who was happy by the news maybe because he has some information the rest of us did not have...

Now this drama... my class and readings did NOT cover.

NG Photos of the day

2008-10-22T16:03:00.008-04:00

An image of health. Angiogram of the heart with blood vessels in fine detail. Also, my favorite organ!

Giant river cave- one of the largest in the world- located in Laos.

Photo by: Dave Bunnell

Colorfully painted men from the Huli clan in Papua New Guinea.

Photo by: Jodi Cobb

A nontoxic dye highlights water currents surrounding sea urchins (Astropyga sp.) off the coast of Vancouver Island, British Columbia. There are about 700 species of sea urchins in the world.

Photograph by Paul Nicklen

Silver argiope spider from Costa Rica that weaves a pattern called stabilimentum, which is believed to help deter birds from flying into these webs.

Photo by: Darlyne Murawski

I'm noticing a TREND here...

2008-10-22T15:37:00.003-04:00

GOBAMA

2008-10-22T15:09:00.000-04:00

Dave Barry-

2008-10-22T15:02:00.001-04:00

It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.

My first

2008-10-16T23:00:00.002-04:00

speculum exam was done today! Woo-hoo! My CAP preceptor, who is an OB/GYN that I follow around once a week and who is just absolutely fantastic, let me do my first speculum exam and breast exam today. It was so awesome! I really didn't think it was going to be that simple, and neither did my CAP, but I found the cervix in one try. Granted my patient was bleeding A LOT, but that's okay. It just made it a little gooier (is that even a word?) and easier to slip in the speculum. The breast exam however, is another story. I mean. Us women do the breast exam on ourselves...well, we are SUPPOSED to do them on ourselves at least once a month right after your period. And sometimes, it feels a little lumpy. But I can distinguish what's normal lumpy in my breasts from what's abnormal lumpy (aka a new lump). But, that's difficult in a patient. To tell you the truth, i felt lumps today in doing that breast exam and I just waited for my CAP to do her follow-up exam and see if she would say if anything was abnormal. Everything was normal, in fact. This left me confused on how to distinguish normal versus abnormal.

They say in medicine that you must be trained to know what normal is so that when an abnormal finally comes along, it will hit you right between the eyes. I learned this through my CAP last year who made me do many pelvic bi-manual exams to train my "feel" for normal uteri (i think this is plural for uterus) so that when a gravid (pregnant) uterus or one with fibroids came along, I would know. And I did eventually learn how to distinguish between these conditions! Fibroids within a uterus is typically really hard, whereas a gravid uterus is somewhat soft feeling. But, this is the extent of my knowledge. So far, I'm learning so much from my CAP, whom I will call Dr. B. She is so brilliant, it's astounding. But she's great because she teaches so well and I'm excited about all the learning this year:)

AB out....

Catamenial Pneumothorax

2008-10-13T23:44:00.004-04:00

Say what!? Yes, try say these words five times fast. So, this condition is insane! It was listed on one of my classmates status updates on gchat and man oh man...I am NEVER complaining about having my period again! Women who have catamenial pneumothorax get a collapsed lung usually 72 hours after they start having their monthly menstruation cycle. Seriously? I really have no grounds to complain about the sore back and the cramps...and maybe the fact that I'm bleeding out. Sorry about the visual...but this blog is about medicine and health.

But these women! The incidence of this condition isn't very high, but the fact that they can potentially get a collapsed lung every month is insane! Actually, the cause is endometrial tissue attaching to the pleural space of the lung which then causes the lung to collapse because of an accumulation of blood and endometrium. Endometriosis is a terrible disease wherein the endometrium (tissue within the woman's vaginal walls that is sloughed off every month )grows ectopically at other sites of the body. In this case, there is endometrial tissue in the lungs.

The treatment will probably be an emergency chest tube to drain the fluid accumulation and then probably surgery to take out the ectopic endometrial tissue.

This condition is out of this world crazy.

Wal-mart is the devil

2008-10-13T00:55:00.002-04:00

...it really is!! You plan to go into Wal-mart to buy ONLY a handful of things, but your plans get shattered once you enter this monster of a store. I mean... I went into Wal-mart today to get 3 things...3!! It was toilet paper (I was literally on my last square of toilet paper...I was actually cursing myself for wasting 2 squares on the last roll I threw away), sandwich baggies, and detergent. But what happened? Obviously not the game plan. But business strategists are so smart when they strategize the floor plans of these super-marts. They calculate the routes of shoppers and strategically place items that catch the shoppers eyes in prime spots so that...for me in example...as I am reaching up on the shelf to retrieve my Purex concentrated detergent, my eyes also catch the clorox bottle next to it as well as the bounce fabric softener. Of course I need these other two items! I cannot possibly do laundry without clorox and bounce...even if I may have some leftover bounce at home. The thought of possibly running out of bounce is too much to handle at the moment, and I instinctively snatch a box and throw it into my cart.

What is worse is that, although I only have 3 items on my original list, it still requires me to find the toilet paper and the sandwich baggies. And you're forced to peruse ALL the aisles of wal-mart to find these items! Especially sandwich baggies! They're incredibly hard to find because they are NEVER where they're supposed to be. It's just like loofas. You can never find a loofa where the body washes are located. Usually, loofas are in some random aisle hanging suspiciously from a clip...and you're left to wonder "what the hell is a loofa doing here?"...when YOU DON'T NEED A LOOFA!

Anyways..back to my rant. So, I'm trying to find the sandwich baggies and I come across the school supplies aisle. And there is never a good enough reason to walk through this aisle without carefully checking out the prices of all the highlighters. They are way too expensive in most stores that you CANNOT ignore highlighters in a wal-mart...so I grab some and throw them into the cart on top of the bounce, purex, and clorox. Now...remember the strategists? Those punks. After the school supplies aisle, it all goes downhill. The snacks are next and this takes a considerable amount of your time because no one ever remembers if there's enough snacks to last the week/month. I mean...your stomach wins out every time. In they go into the cart with the toxic chemicals and highlighters.

Now, once you pass the snack aisles...it's really downhill because you are so far away from your original list at this point that you forget what you're looking for and as you're walking and scratching your head trying to remember what you even came to wal-mart for (toilet paper), you manage to maneuver your cart into the clothing section. And before you know it...you have finally made your way to the toilet paper section after miraculously finding the hidden aisle that stores the sandwich baggies and you could barely push your cart to the register. At this point, you are so tired, super hungry, and as the cashier is ringing you up...cursing wal-mart for stealing your money because you only planned to get three things when you walked in the door but you have managed to be swindled into buying a cart load of "necessities".

I love wal-mart.

Life goes on

2008-10-12T23:34:00.002-04:00

I remember the first time I saw someone die. It's not one of those memories you want to hold, but it stays with you...at least it did with me. I remember that day in the pediatrics ER at the University Medical Center in Vegas like it happened yesterday. A 7 year-old boy was ambulanced in from a birthday party, where the child fell into the pool. His young, hysterical mother trailed the stretcher closely, but it was surrounded by frantic nurses and doctors pounding his tiny chest with desperate attempts to keep his heart pumping blood to his brain. The room was chaotic and messy. There were sheets on the tiled floors as well as unused tubes and syringe caps. Usually, the curtains would be drawn to keep an incident like this private and hidden from the other emergent onlookers. But that little rule was broken due to the frantic atmosphere.

And as fast as it began, it ended. The code was called. Time of death: 3:28 pm. As each of the doctors left the room, another ambulance announced their arrival with another emergency. And although this was a tragic event and something most doctors pray they don't see on their shift on any given day, it happens. Children will go to birthday parties and unfortunately, will jump into a pool without close attentive eyes on them. And their number will be called...even if they're only seven years old and have their whole life ahead to look forward to. And we who witness this robbery are left with a piece of our sanity taken and with only aweful memories stored safely away in files in our minds that we visit once in a while upon sad recollection.

To Advance Direct/ To not Advance Direct

2008-10-09T19:13:00.006-04:00

My small group discussed the topic of medical ethics this morning. This class, in which most med students complain to be a "touchy feely prepare you to be a doctor" course meets every so often to discuss big topics revolving mostly around patient doctor relationships. The goal of these discussions is to highlight the obvious ways in how to deal with certain circumstances as we will encounter them throughout our med school and future careers.

Usually, our group only has a physician to facilitate the dialogue, but we were fortunate to have a psychiatrist present in the discussion as well to offer some insight, especially in psychiatric cases. Today's talk was a great addition to a small group case we had last week wherein we had a homosexual male AIDS patient present to the clinic, who had appointed his life partner as his proxy but the patient's parents disputed this arrangement and wanted to make the final decisions regarding their son's care. This situation would have been a hot mess if this patient did not designate his partner to be his proxy, which is a person whom the patient entrusts to carry out their last wishes as it pertains to their health care. This brings me to the topic of this blog: advance directives (AD).

This legal document is what physicians base the final wishes of an individual in regards to their health care when they no longer can make their own decisions. In the case of our patient mentioned earlier, he designated a proxy but he could have also outlined his wishes in a document just in case there was any question to what his final wishes were. The basis of an advance directive is to outline what types of treatment a person would want or not want in the event that they are not conscious or incapacitated to make such decisions. Do you want a feeding tube? Do you want cardiac resuscitation? Do you want to be on a respirator to keep you breathing? There are more questions like these and all clarify what exactly you would want. In addition, an AD asks what you would like to do in terms of donating organs.

Well, after today's discussion on such morbid topics, I started thinking just how important this document reall is. Death is something most people do not like to discuss, I imagine. But, it is a really important topic as it pertains to how people like your loved ones would handle your last days in this life and how to properly carry out your wishes once you have past on. It would be difficult to lay such a heavy burden on your spouse, children or siblings when they may feel complete guilt in "pulling the plug" when that might have been your wish all along. I guess I could make this blog my advance directive in saying that I would not want to be on long term artificial respiration especially when I am "brain dead" and obviously not conscious to breathe on my own but a machine is the only thing keeping me alive.

I guess my main concern on this and why I am writing a blog about it is that there are too many loopholes that can be created if your final wishes are ambiguous. The Terry Schiavo case comes to mind on this. Terry's parents fought her husband on pulling the plug. One of the main reasons why it was stuck in court for so long was that she did not have a plan set out just in case something were to happen. This is not unique to her, as I would bet most healthy young individuals do not plan just how they would like their end of life care to be handled.

The discussion just got me thinking...should I fill one out just in case? Or am I being overly concerned and a control freak?

Killing trees

2008-10-09T18:48:00.002-04:00

Medical school is a tree killer...

...No, seriously. It totally is. I'm ashamed to say exactly how many trees I have killed last year during my first year of medical school, but I am pretty sure I can rival those tree hunters down in the Amazon basin. It is just astounding how much we have to print off for notes, extra notes, and even more notes to study! Thankfully, the med school gives us printed notes for most of our classes, but even with that, I find myself printing more and more. I am really glad that the first floor printing stations of our library took the liberty to automatically make all the print settings front and back to save on paper. At least my guilt is somewhat controlled because of this bold move. At first I was upset because now I wasn't getting the free blank space in the back of the printed notes to jot down my own notes...but I got over it quick realizing just how much paper I could go through.

So, I decided to take matters into my own hands and I ordered my first printer today. No more waiting in lines at the printer stations and spending $.07 a page. I will be printing from home and most likely in color! Moving up in the world...but sinking even deeper into my guilt as more trees are targeted under this plan. I must admit that I do a lot of work online but I prefer the old school method of pen and paper and highlighters. My roommate will attest to the fact that I will go through boxes and boxes of highlighters.

Paper and highlighters. Watch out.

"Hope" Is The Thing With Feathers

2008-10-08T23:28:00.002-04:00

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-
That perches in the soul-
And sings the tune without the words-
And never stops-at all-

And sweetest-in the Gale-is heard
And sore must be the storm-
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm-

I've heard it in the chillest land-
And one the strangest Sea-
Yet, never, in Extremity,
It asked a crumb -Of me.

by Emily Dickinson

Walking towards awakeness

2008-10-08T19:04:00.002-04:00

I just noticed, as I was walking to school the other morning, that DC is a late riser. You would think with the atrocious number of lawyers and politicians in this city that morning traffic would be much heavier early in the morning as the hustle and bustle of a business day begins. Not really...

I was walking to school last Friday and since it was an exam day, I left for school around seven in the morning. I do not usually go to school this early as a typical day starts around 9 am. But as I was walking, I could not help but notice how empty the streets were without busy traffic and people. For a second, I thought that maybe there was a Daylight Savings time switch the night before and I just did not get the memo! Seriously...the streets were empty and it was a Friday morning...which in my opinion is busier than a Monday. There is nothing like getting to work on a Friday knowing that there is happy hour that evening and a weekend ahead with your name on it.

I could literally hear how quiet my neighborhood was on this walk to school that day! The silence was a little creepy and disconcerting, to tell you the truth. I mean, shouldn't people be up by this time trying to get to work by 8am? Are there people with jobs that start at 7? Well, I guess thos people would be late already and obviously wouldn't be on the street walking with me since it was past 7 at this point.

Well, it's not that I'm complaining about how quiet my walk was to school. Usually, my ipod volume has to be much louder than normal because trucks and cars passing by me on the street are annoyingly loud. But on Friday, it was a nice a calm walk to school without honking horns and the sound of trucks shifting gears. I could classify it as therapy considering I was able to calm myself down before I took my exam.

Bird watching

2008-10-02T00:50:00.005-04:00

Today I decided to start studying in what we med students at GW like to call the "suicidal carrels". Basically, these study carrels are just big enough to fit a desk and a chair...and possibly a human being if they have totally expired all forms of air out of their body. But these carrels are where I put most of my productive study hours and I'm really not ashamed to say it loud and proud that I enjoy my time being sardined into this small space. At least the carrels I choose to study are right next to a window that overlooks our front courtyard right next to the GW hospital.

Now maybe it's not such a good idea to have this expansive window which provides more than enough visual stimulus to procrastinate studying...which totally defeats the purpose of being cooped up in one of these darn things in the first place. But anyways, before I go off-topic again, I have to admit in writing on one of my favorite hobbies...people watching! Yes, i love it! People are so interesting to watch. I can't say that I dislike long lay-overs at airports because I really enjoy just observing people, their facial expressions, and how they interact with each other. And for the obvious reason, it is so much more fun to watch from a place where no one can really see you. I especially get a kick out of watching people in our courtyard duck from all the flying pigeons.

The med school has a huge pigeon problem! Today I was outside talking on the phone with my mother and this flock (i'm not sure what to call a group of pigeons) of them flew RIGHT AT ME! I had to duck. THEY did NOT swerve at all which is disturbing. I would have lost an eye and maybe my pony tail if I didn't have such stealthy reflexes. And I'm sure there was someone out there who saw all this go down and was bent over with laughter. Coming from first hand experience, I can tell you that there was no humor involved with ducking from these torpedo-ish birds, but seeing others go through the same thing cracks me up. I know it's mean. I can't help it. I'm sorry.

2008-09-29T17:51:00.005-04:00

I love perusing National Geographic's photographs of the day. Here are some beautiful pics from what I saw today!

Water spilling down a cliff at the Grand Canyon National Park in Arizona.

Perfect example of what Palin is trying to destroy...poor polar bears:(

Coral Reef off Australia.

Fire dancing. Originated by a Samoan man in 1946.

The Painted Line Swagger

2008-09-27T01:40:00.005-04:00

The time ticks and blinks that it is over
So soon after what is said and done
I halt in my line, walking sober
In my slight apprehension, the mice on the mind's wheel has begun.

Now there's no stopping who says what
Where those words land, it is unknown
My somber mind relays but I already forgot
Just what I was going to say out of a mess so grown.

Life for that minute moment has stopped
All levels of life as you know has a focus on just you
Recover so energy and fuel retains stock
Or not and you are yet to be blamed for being a fool.

You are stranded and alone in this
Nowhere to turn or run and hide
Determined to not fail so you can spend the rest of your days in bliss
You step forward- one foot in front of the other- confidently to walk the straight line in stride.

Favorite words of the week

2008-09-27T01:27:00.002-04:00

1. Suppurative
Tied 1. Exudate: Oh my goodness! This made my day when I first heard of suppurative exudate! Oh medicine...why do you have to be so fancy with the name calling:)
2. Treponema: So many syllables...so great!
3. Neisseria gonorrhoaea (genus and species of the bug that causes...you guessed it..gonorrhea!! But i enjoy the pronunciation of these words. It almost sounds like you're saying, "nice serious gonorrhea". It's just wrong to have that word combination.

When in doubt choose..

2008-09-27T01:23:00.003-04:00

PNEUMONIA OR UTI! Both do not sound like too much fun, but after studying hours and hours on these bacteria for a micro test I have on Monday, I have come up with the conclusion that the answer would be one of these disease manifestations, if I was stumped on a question. Like for real...all these bacteria cause either pneumonia or a urinary tract infection or both! Dang...can you imagine having an aweful UTI while you're drowning from water in your lungs?? That would be a rough day.

Ascension to progression

2008-09-12T00:13:00.002-04:00

She questions, is this really it?
By 23, two little girls were God's gifts.
Ambition aside. Young life waiting beside.
She steals moments by the window and sighs.
Leaves, they change
The lines on her sweet face reaarange
And her hair grows a different shade
She questions, is this really it?

Her girls are growing
The seeds in the backyard, she starts sowing
While her back breaks from bowing.
Working day in and day out to put her family first
And never once quenching her own thirst
She questions, is this really it?

Working and saving to move to that new World
For she wants better for her girls
And to her home, a big wave of farewell to grab life and thrive
A house to live. A table to eat. A car to drive.
She questions, is this really it?

Fast forward to today as she ponders what's next
Her daughters are grown. They've taught her how to text.
The country that welcomed her ten years ago
Has finally embraced her to call it her home.
That house is now lively and that car grew to be four
She feels loved and respected.
And yet she questions, is this really it?
Well no...she finally answers, "I am just starting".

A day to remember

2008-09-11T18:16:00.002-04:00

Gosh. It's september 11 again...one of a only a handful of memorable days, in my life at least. I still remember exactly what I was doing when the planes crashed into the twin towers in NYC. At the time, I was a sophomore in college at the University of Montana. It was really early in the morning and I woke up to my phone ringing and me cursing because I didn't think I set my alarm on my phone. Obviously, I was planning to sleep in through my first class that morning! But, no. It was my mom calling to tell me to get up and turn on the television. Actually, the first words out of her mouth were "WE'RE BEING BOMBED!" I was like, "MOM...REALLY? It's too early to be melodramatic." But, no again. She wasn't overreacting because we were really being bombed. I quickly hung up the phone and ran downstairs to the only place I knew where there was a tv...my head RA's room. And for the rest of the day, I (along with ten or so random people) sat on her floor and watched the horror unfold, thinking "How could this happen?"

Looking back, I wasn't deeply affected about the situation until the next few days and weeks when the death toll kept climbing and the number of people still missing in the rubble was unfathomable. My heart ached for all those people who had missing family members or had loved ones who filled the morgues of the big apple. Of all cities, my favorite city in the USA got hit.

And now on the 7th anniversary of this terrible day, it is amazing to see how far the city of New York has come to rebuild herself from the spiritual catastrophe it and its people endured. Somtimes we take for granted the blessed life we live here in the US. Although we are mourning for all those lives we have lost since the attack of 9/11, here and abroad, we sometimes forget of the many countries who are in constant turmoil on their own soil. One of my professors joked the other day (after feeling after shocks from implosions done on a nearby construction site) that if she were in Iran, she would instinctively be taking shelter. For the majority of us, we laugh at the joke wholeheartedly because we really don't know what it is like to live a life of that kind of fear. The fear of war and constant violence wears on people and their souls. And even though it is selfish for me to say it out loud (or at least in writing), I am very happy to live here in the US, where at least I feel safe and where I don't have to take cover from bombings or hide from guerrila warfares. Yes, we have been bombed by terrorists, but it is nowhere near what some other countries experience.

And as I end this blog, I send up a prayer to God to bless all those people who have been affected by this tragedy...a tragedy that has affected us all as Americans.

cute cartoon

2008-09-11T18:14:00.002-04:00

This is hilarious..particularly the top left..hahahaha!

Grinding

2008-09-03T23:26:00.003-04:00

Nose to the grind. Nose to the grind.
Wiping your brow, sweat you will find.
Day in. Day out. Same rituals, same plan.
To be the best in the world while getting scrapes from the sand.

Nose to the grind. Nose to the grind.
Praying every second for a bullet to be kind.
Signed up at eighteen and lost without your voice.
Your third tour away from your sons and the gun is your only choice.

Nose to the grind. Nose to the grind.
Hustlin' in these streets getting paid from these crimes.
No love can be found without quarters and dimes
And you're sick to death of poverty, even if you soon do time.

Nose to the grind. Nose to the grind.
Pumping down on chests, all the while losing time.
The young are born. The old will die.
We are given life to put up a good fight.

Twilight

2008-09-03T22:22:00.002-04:00

Oh my goodness. Yes, I should be studying instead of writing this blog. And yes, I should not be reading a book that has nothing to do with my studies because I really have no time right now to read anything but pharm, path, and micro. But I just have to mention that I'm totally obsessed with Twilight. I'm a new fan of Bella and Edward so I'm barely finishing up the first book of the series, Twilight, and just cannot wait to get my hands on the next book. But, I will try my best and refrain before I fail my exams that are just around the corner. I can hear those exams breathing down my back and frankly, I am really scared. As I write this, I must admit that one of my windows is currently opened to searching through Amazon for the next book in the series. What am I going to do with myself?

What is faith?

2008-08-30T22:59:00.002-04:00

The title of the blog has a little to do with what I will be writing about. I just received a heart felt email from a friend who was checking up on me and my "path of faith". We had a great conversation the beginning of my first year of medical school (about a year ago) that had to do with religion and faith and my relationship with God. As you can already tell, it was a pretty deep conversation. But it was well needed. At the time, I was struggling with a few things not really concerning my faith in God but with my faith in people. We talked about my struggle to really accept the fact that non-believers in Christ will quote unquote go to a place we call hell. First off, I am Catholic and was raised in a Catholic household. So, yes, I do believe there is good and evil present in our world, and in my mind, evil resides in a place called hell. However, I really have a difficult time digesting the fact that some people feel that all non-believers will go to hell. Growing up and educated in a Baptist school, we were always told that if you didn't believe in God, you were going to hell. I always had a problem with this because I constantly meet people who are great individuals and who are kind hearted and good souls, but yet do not believe in Christ. My reasoning on this is that they may have different religious views. They may not believe in my God, but they may have a "God" themselves. Who am I to tell them that my God is better or different than theirs? Who knows? They may be different interpretations of the same thing!

Needless to say, our conversation ended without a resolution. However, the conversation helped churn the wheels in my head about maintaining my faith. Part of this is my responbility to keep asking questions about God and how I can strengthen my relationship with Him. I was invited to my first prayer meeting with other medical students and from there came many many prayer groups and meetings. Although I still struggle with the same problems and questions I had at this initial conversation, I feel I may be getting somewhere with my goal. Some Christians may feel that living a life free of sin is the ultimate goal in life. I see things differently, because I think we are only humans and may strive to be perfect like God but fall short many times. But God knows this! He didn't make us from his own image to be perfect beings. He gave us the gift of choice and although we may make bad choices at times, He is loving and He forgives always. If there was one thing that I have learned from my journey of faith in the past year, it would be that God is always there for me. Although I may have a slanted view about faith and religion, that may be different than the books, I know and understand the big picture. He loves me always and will always forgive. And this is what keeps me praying and thanking Him everyday.

Reflection on this time last year

2008-08-21T17:14:00.002-04:00

Wow, I cannot believe how fast time flies! Exactly this time last year, I was in orientation for medical school. I am writing this blog because of the numerous emails I am receiving daily about orientation week at GW. The Class of 2012 is currently there enjoying the free breakfast every morning and fun activities all the while meeting new faces and seeing new places. How exciting! I am giddy just writing about this because it brings fresh to mind how excited I was at that point. I was finally in medical school and ready to be on way to save the world! haha..it really was that dramatic in my mind:) Of course I'm still uber excited, but it doesn't compare to the initial feeling of disbelief I had that first week of school. I was actually in medical school and I was at a school I really want to go to! I am definitely excited to head back to another grueling year...although I'm currently pouting that my last summer of freedom is now coming to a close.

I am proud to be an American..

2008-08-19T13:47:00.004-04:00

Yesterday, I attended my mom's swearing in ceremony to become a United States citizen. My mom, dressed in her best and looking her very best sat in the front of the auditorium with an American flag on one hand and an expression of elation that this day finally came. Next July marks the ten year anniversary of when me, my little sister, and my parents moved to America from a little island in the South Pacific. I was starting my junior year in high school and my sister was starting high school. As I write this blog, memories of the many little adventures we had and enjoyed as a family at that time, come to mind as if it were yesterday.

My parents were business owners back in the islands. They set their own hours, which meant they worked all the time, but they enjoyed not answering to anyone about how they ran their daily lives. Together, we ran a sewing and boutique shop, a laundromat, a refrigeration company, and at one point a restaurant as well. Regular jobs are hard to come by back home. Most people choose to run their own bunsiness, which is exactly what my parents did.

However, higher education was not available on the island and knowing that me and my sister were on track to go to college, they sacrificed and decided that a move to America was pertinent. And so began our journey from the little island of Samoa to the flashy and entertaining city of Las Vegas in Nevada. I remember me and my sister, Deidre, perusing through the brochure of our new high school. The girls wore fancy clothes, everyone looked so different, and there were so many clubs and sports to be involved in. At the time, tennis was the only thing on my mind and I was elated to find out our school had their own tennis courts! Our high school, Silverado High, wasn't unique in this, though. In fact, almost every school in the city had tennis courts. We were stunned to find the volleyball and basketball courts to not be made of concrete like they were back in the islands, but of glossy wood! And we had an athletic trainer...what is going on here?? America is AMAZING! Little discoveries like these were milestones to simple island girls. The super wal-mart was its own adventure and we gulped in every ounce of the American way of life.

Of course, everything wasn't all peaches and roses. Thank God my dad was able to find a job in the bank, which was pretty good money so we can afford an apartment and then finally a car. My mom then found a job with the Wal-mart down the street as a cashier. Slowly but surely, we built our lives as newly-crafted Americans. Of course, the idea of being American wasn't novel to both me and my sister. We, at least, were born on U.S. soil, albeit a territory located thousands of miles south of the state of Hawaii. We hold American passports and never felt different when it came down to our status of citizenship. The same thing goes for my dad. Back in 1962, he and my grandfather moved to the state of Hawaii. My grandfather was a lawyer and was invited to work for the U.S. Consulate office to the Philippines in Hawaii. This was the beginning of my father's journey to becoming a U.S. citizen.

My mother's journey, however, started nine years ago in July when our family moved to America. For this reason, yesterday was probably one of the most memorable days of my life, and I suspect of my mother's life as well. I don't know much about the way of life in other countries, but I humbly assume that nowhere else is the quality of life better than here in America. I love traveling and seeing the many faces of the world and although I can imagine to live in this place or that (specifically Florence, Italy), there is no other country I would rather pledge allegiance to. Earlier this year, I swore an oath to help defend the rights and liberties of this country when called upon by the U.S. Army. It wasn't until yesterday that I was proud to have made that decision.

In the nine years our family has been in the United States, we have been blessed tremendously. My parents own their own home, where we have enjoyed celebrating many Christmases, birthdays, graduations, family reunions and Thanksgiving dinners. My sister and I have graduated from college and are finding our own way through the world. This year, I will vote in the second presidential election. My mom will be able to vote in her first. And although we may vote for different candidates, that will be okay because we live in a country where different opinions are welcome. And although our country's history may be tainted by racism, sexism, and many other "isms", I am proud and happy to be part of a generation that believes in progressive thinking and in creating a world that will be greener, healthier, and more open-minded than ever before. Making a statement such as this is bold, I know. But how can I help but be optimistic and this ambitious when I know that I live in a country that affords us all the freedom to make big dreams possible and allows us to use all possible resources to get ahead in life? As of yet, I don't know of any other place like the good 'ol US of A:)

Rock Bottom

2008-08-11T05:44:00.004-04:00

Will you make it stop for one moment?
When my eyes close and you're still there,
With a voice speaking tongues blowing commanding air.
Willingly, this room gets smaller and I suffocate
Wishing upon my lungs to suppress its rate.
Wasting away painfully as all exits point to you
While you sit there, waiting, all along knowing the truth.
Withhold from me, this you do, of seconds that turn into days
Which makes me write this doctrine of deep sorrow and hate.
Waiting outside is harsh...BUT IT IS MINE and mine without these chains.
Wishful thinking...when I know Seclusion protects me even from the rain.
Withstanding the real world by closing doors and my eyes,
While you put me to bed and numb body and soul through the night.

Away From Boredom

2008-08-11T04:59:00.000-04:00

Away From Boredom

What is your high and what is your low

A question weighted heavily, when thrown

To be a skeptic of the past of your day

And not knowing a thing about what went each way.

Bumping people...a system like crashing cars

Suppose if you hit hard enough and they can be pushed far...

..far far enough into the distance of the higher mind

To be connected with what is important and how little we have in time.

Sell your soul to that devil who is unknown

But who is evil enough to own the everyday drone

Walking purposeless into each task

Thinking not of your impact, for you are just a parasite in a flask.

You drink up the sun, the moon and life

And discard nothing usefull but cries

Your tears, even, go without notice

For nothing substantial can grow out of useless.

Pray your roles are reversed

You're in the other car, the one that gets hit hardest

So your life, its beauty and real essence impacts you

Revealing a generous gift...one that was always right in front of you.

My first time in the delivery room

2008-08-01T02:35:00.005-04:00

It is near impossible to describe in words my first night in the delivery room. I believe it was a Thursday night at LBJ Tropical Medical Center in Pago Pago, American Samoa. I was spending a couple months as a student interning through the OB/GYN department and following around the Chief of obstetrics. My mentor, Dr. AC, is this amazing guy who has spent the last 15 years or so working in Pago, although he's originally from another island called Samoa. I know, it's weird that there are two islands with similar names, culture, and people but are yet run by different governments. Well, Dr. AC is amazing! It's just inspiring to work with people who are so passionate about medicine and taking care of their patients, despite the gruesome hours and lousy pay. But that's another blog story so back to the delivery room...

It's a thursday night and Dr. AC is on call but is catching a few zzz's since the midwife is also on duty. I get a phone call that a couple women have reached about 8 cm's and I rush to the hospital. At the moment of the phone call, I was drinking a diet coke and playing dominoes with my drunk cousins who were all trying to convince me to stay and party with them. But, being the nerd that I am, I wasn't about to give up this awesome opportunity to see a baby brought into the world. So off I went.

The mother is a girl about the same age as me and when I got to the hospital, she was already in the delivery room and pushing. I must admit that I didn't know what to expect when I got there. I always thought the delivery room was a serious place to be, and I guess it could be at times, especially when you have a difficult delivery. But that night, it was one of the funnest places I've been to in a hospital. The nurses were laughing and cracking jokes at each other. The midwife was telling me funny old delivery stories. I was feeling guilty having a jolly good time while the poor patient was writhing in pain from the contractions and pushing a baby that wasn't yet ready to see the world. But who am I to question? Afterall, I am just a student starting out in medicine.

After two hours of coaching the patient through her delivery, we finally see the head of her baby boy. A medio-lateral episiotomy was done to prevent eventual tearing and assist the delivery of the baby out of the vagina. Oh man..when I saw the midwife take that pair of scissors to cut the perineum, all I could do was look at the patient's face to gauge her reaction from the pain she will be experiencing. But...I did not see a reaction from her! I'm assuming that the pain of the contraction was so severe at that point that it masked the pain of the scissors tearing through the tissue. I really don't know how often this procedure is done in U.S. hospitals, but according to the midwife at LBJ, it is a pretty standard procedure that is done based on the decision of the delivering healthcare provider. Being the inquisitive student that I am, I asked the midwife on what grounds she based her decision making process to go ahead with an episiotomy and her answer was that "25 years of delivering babies just gave her an inkling to know which women will pull through without tearing and which women, she would have to make the tear for them." I really don't like this answer. It's like when I ask my dad exactly how much soysauce or vinegar to put into a dish where I'm making 3 pounds of chicken and his response is, "Years of making this dish and you just gauge what's enough soy sauce and vinegar..you throw in a splash of this and that..maybe a half a cup and just season to taste...that's all!" GRRRRRrrrrrr.

Well let's just say that the patient survived my screaming and I survived the pain of seeing scissors cut through tissue without local anesthetic. Yikes! But big day folks! I just saw a delivery. It wasn't what I imagined. I thought angels would start singing as soon as the baby was out and that there would be this unbearable silence as soon as the head poked out..almost like a silent anticipation. Well, I was right about the latter but the angels singing....well that was probably all in my head. But honestly, it was by far the coolest thing I have ever seen! To see a baby poke through a canal that you know in your mind to be a very narrow hole which then transforms to be this gaping hole leading to the inside of a woman's uterus...I mean...wow! The wonders of the human body...well a woman's body in this case!

So yeah, baby and mama were doing great the next day when I rotated through the post-partum maternity ward. It's funny how weird babies look as soon as they're delivered and then you see them afterwards when they are all cleaned up, bundled in a pink or blue blanket, and looking infectiously cute in their head warmers. As I tickled the little guy's foot, I couldn't help but think in my head.."Dude! I was there when you entered the world!" How cool is that?

in the army now...

2008-07-29T18:56:00.004-04:00

I almost forgot to mention that I joined the U.S. Army. It's really not one of those moments that you forget to mention, either. It's just that it hasn't hit me yet that I have joined the military. I was fortunate enough to receive a scholarship in the Health Professional Scholarship Program (HPSP), wherein the Army pays me through my medical training, and in return I work as a physician for them when all is said and done. It really took me a while to think this through and in the end, this was the best option for me.

I just went through my first year of medical school accumulating a little over $65,000 in debt for GW's tuition (private school) and living in D.C. Although living in the nation's capital while going to med school makes me the coolest person beyond comprehension, it does not erase the fact that this city is ridiculously expensive! But I love it here and I love going to GW. Nevertheless, I spent most of the year stressing out about how much debt I would incur over the four years of medical school. Also, let's not talk about my debt to income ratio when I get done with school and starting working as a resident. Scary!!

So, long story short...the Army is the best option for right now. This decision will not really affect me until about seven years from now when I will most likely be done with residency and will start working as a physician. But how can I possibly know what my life will be like in 7 years? A year ago, I could not imagine finishing my first year of medical school! I will be a different person when I will be done with medical school and will definitely be a different person when I get done with residency. But...I'm hoping for the best and hopefully when the time comes, I will thoroughly enjoy being in the Army. Who knows? Maybe, I will like it so much that I'll make a career out of it! It is hard to make this type of decision when all variables are not being considered at the time, but at this point, I know I made the right choice to get me through medical school financially. It will be an interesting journey and I'm excited to start..

p.s.
My roommate joined as well! Sweet..maybe we'll end up at the same army hospital for residency! That would be a trip:)

Barefoot heaven

2008-07-16T02:37:00.005-04:00

So my trip to the islands of Samoa is winding down. I'm actually trying to leave early...not because I'm sick of Paradise already but because I would like to spend some time with the family before second year starts. I just have to say that my summer is flying by so fast. I didn't realize that it's already the second week of July and I might be on a flight out of here by next week. Sad! It has been 7 years since I've been home sweet home. I realized just how much I missed Samoa when I went on a little vacation trip to an island called Upolu. Although I was born and raised on the island of Tutuila, I spent a lot of time growing up in Upolu, the island where my mom and grandfather is originally from. We just took a quick 5 day trip to visit with old friends and cousins, but I was in barefoot heaven while I was there. Although the island is progressing well into the future of tourism, many things remain the same: the sights in the back villages, certain smells, and the feeling of finally coming home. A strange feeling that I cannot quite describe overwhelmed me..as if I was waiting to exhale out a huge sigh of relief. I was home and I made a silent promise to myself to not stay away too long.

I might be leaving in the next couple weeks and it's just sad that my "last summer of freedom" is coming to a close. My trip to come down here was a good decision, though. I am learning a lot at the hospital following the Chief of OB/GYN and also learned some painful mistakes with my summer project. So although my summer involved some considerable damage to my liver and an abundant amount of time hanging out with my cousins and old friends, at least there has been some learning:)

The end of MSI

2008-05-25T14:47:00.002-04:00

Wow. I can't believe it's finally here! Finals are finally over...well, first year of med school to be exact...and now I'm sitting on my favorite couch at home in Vegas while ribs and shrimp skewers are being cooked on the grill:) I love summers in Vegas. It's super hot but it's always a great time. Gosh, what a sigh of relief. Well, we have not received our final grades yet but at least finals are over and now it's just a waiting game for our grades. I hope it works out...

Until then, I will be hanging out at home, catching up with Bones and Greys Anatomy, watching new movies, and maybe do some shopping for my summer trip to the beautiful islands of Samoa. I can't wait to go back home this summer! I'll be really busy with the survey I'm going to administer but I'll be catching up with old friends and people I haven't seend in about 7 years. Crazy how fast time flies!

But back to medical school, this year has been amazing and crazy and fulfilling and more than what I imagined med school to be. I learned an astronomical amount this year! A year ago, I would not have believed it was possible to learn this much, but the brain is an amazing organ and proved me wrong. I'm really scared on what second year will bring to my plate because I hear horror stories on how much MORE information there will be and how harder it's going to be, but I'm looking forward to another crazy year....well, not just yet. I want a nice long 13 weeks all to myself without medical school on the brain. I want to just chill and hang out with family and friends having bbq's and going to the beach and reading books other than text books. What a fabulous summer it will be...

2008-05-13T02:30:00.002-04:00

I miss Vegas and I miss Montana and I miss Samoa and I miss my parents and my sister. That's my update for now.

An ode to my mentor

2008-05-13T02:27:00.002-04:00

The smell, so strong at first, it strikes me.
And cold air, its purpose known, shakes me.
My first sight of you terrifies me.
The death of you disturbs me.
Your intricate layers, folded away, intrigues me.
God's purposeful map laid out baffles me.
The temple of your soul instructs me.
With each deep cut in you, it stabs me.
Knowing a person once lived here scares me.
A reminder of your generous giving comforts me.
And now knowing your true story inspires me.

(Written after taking Anatomy my first semester.)

Drunk lullaby

2008-05-13T02:21:00.003-04:00

Come tip a few with me
Transcend your world into mine.
With but a few gulps you could be on bended knee
And sway this way and that unable to stay in line.
Come drown a few sorrows with laughter.
We are all friends or will become better friends.
With maybe purer liquid we'll falter
Just keep in mind we must always deter our ends.
It is that task of freedom.
The lack of fear that runs through our veins.
We are inebriated some.
But it is a culture we refuse to give up reins.
Come live a night with me.
You shall forget your wills, your deeds, your lives.
And with your lost souls you can see
A slower projection on how my world thrives.

Words of steal

2008-05-13T02:10:00.002-04:00

The words, they rumble.
My thoughts speak in written form.
Slanted but an odd beautiful form.
Softly hearing the scratches when ink meets its foe.
For it takes its breath away;
Each stroke steals and evacuates the very fiber of its life
And splatters it across white color.
Illuminating..enlightening..instructing.
A comforting thought for the instrument,
Comes in knowing the potential permanence it may provide.
In understanding what others will read
May inspire and may create heart.
A heart just enough to realize that what was stolen was a purpose.
A purposeful life worth losing
For the greater good of the masses.
To learn, to get inspired, and to acknowledge..
..the heart is in the reading.

A dark turn

2008-05-13T02:02:00.002-04:00

Were you there with me driving through dark lanes?
Lined with ghosts of trees waving at me.
Silently you sat there in thoughts like blurred vision through rain,
You going in and out of consciousness and me wondering whats real.
No light up ahead.
None in my rear view.
My fingers grip so tightly,
My heart pounds, my head prays softly.
For safety from whats unknown.
Who's out there, who knows..
The beam of lights on my sides illuminate the periphery.
But the sound of enveloped silence overwhelms and swallows me all into its darkness.
If I scream, will anyone hear?
Lost voices probably have wondered the same.
What is salvation at life's last breath?
You would never have thought this on a busier road somewhere familiar...is my guess..

White picket fences

2008-05-13T01:41:00.004-04:00

She sits there and stares at the flowers
Many colors combined to shine a reflection of higher powers.
What can she do? She cannot question this fate.
The color is there. Who would not believe this natural trait?

Where does the mind begin to inquire?
Is there no end to this madness?
A continuous labyrinth of opened endings that require first the mind, then the body, then a complete wholeness.

Those flowers, they eventually ease her mind.
The thoughts run slower giving up to something faster.
She cannot compete and outlast this continuous grind.
She is but one thought, a mind temporarily plastered.

She sits and with easy eyes
Sees the flowers' colors emerge from hiding.
Her mind is slow but does realize
She only needed time...this time the world and its rules abiding.

Words in a bottle

2008-05-01T00:52:00.003-04:00

I'm thinking right now..Do words really matter? Do they really carry as much weight as we suppose they do? I know that actions speak louder than words and words can, at times, be strong enough to cause damage. But how strong can they be when you throw out good advice and people do not listen? What happens when you show love through words and nothing comes from it? I pose this question because I am quite disappointed with some news I just received. I am not a parent and won't be one for quite some time but I'm just baffled at how difficult it would be to rear a child. Just through my own experience growing up, I understand that most parents try and steer their children in the "right" direction. You know...the get-your-education-steer-away-from-drugs-and-jail pathway that is pretty generic. For girls you can probably throw in -not-become-pregnant as well. But how do you control your kids from going down the wrong path? How do you try to be there for them financially and lovingly when you're not there 24 hours a day to watch their every move just in case the minute you turn around, they decide to steal something and get handcuffed and taken to jail? How? I really do not know. Some say you gotta show them you love them and that you care for them. Well, what if you do and your kid still decides to one up you and make stupid decisions? You can try all you want to "talk to your kids about drugs". They still just might get hammered and get into the driver's seat and drive their car into a wall. You can always give sound advice with heavy words but the recipient must be able to receive those words. I guess you can't control any of this. People make their own decisions and as a parent, you also have to live with those decisions if there are grave consequences. I'm scared to death to have my own children because I'm afraid of the type of person I would become.

Admissions committee

2008-04-28T16:35:00.002-04:00

Yay, I just got the email today that I got the position on the upcoming year's admission committee at GW! I'm so excited:)

The complexity of the heart

2008-04-28T01:14:00.004-04:00

What makes the heart grow fonder?
Is it really time that makes it flutter?
Each beat strengthened more than the last
Its rhythm purposeful until it reaches fast.
Should we suppose this pattern is genius science?
A crippling reflex to feel compliance.
This tug and pull towards obligation
Because you become captured, body and soul, and stationed.
But what if one day the clock stopped ticking
The juice behind the wheel runs dry...the wheel goes creaking.
You feel like the blood of life is not flowing
For your heart has stopped, it no longer is glowing.
That love you once felt has changed to something else
An infection has seeped through and no intervention can help.
You reason why because that person, your partner, is still the same
But you don't recognize evolution, its hand difficult to tame.
For that person has changed as much as you,
Your steps away from each other, they weren't exactly a few.
Then desperately, you wonder, what is the cure to give this love its pulse
You will take any pill or syrup at whatever dose.
The many years gone by...this cannot be it
You’re in now and always
And your heart, you know is fit.
But your heart IS tired and old and weary
And the blueprint created this perfect fit in your lover’s hands…
…the problem is they know this clearly.

Life Unwanted

2008-04-28T01:04:00.003-04:00

Hey there, yes you
I saw you from across the room.
With sunken eyes, deep and sorrowful
Did you not know this plan came with a tomb?
The room seems cold to you
It does for me too
The only sound separating your world from mine
Changes your life as it does mine.
Where did you come from? How did you get here?
Questions that don't matter, for they are here to allay your fears.
Meet the 12 week mark and sign the dotted line,
The only thing against you here is time.
Protesting: WE WANT LIFE, WE WANT LIFE!
Their cadence unwavering, it pierces you like a knife.
This is the right thing to do, you think over and over.
...A boy, he could be named Trevor..and for a girl, maybe Serah.
Those thoughts pushed aside for the millionth and one time,
For you've opened their door..you're sure they heard the chime.
It's too late to rethink, you have made your choice.
You spoke up for the one who had no voice.

Ingrid Michaelson on Friday

2008-04-20T14:19:00.002-04:00

Yeah, so that was a quick rebound from depression in the last post. I just wanted to mention Ingrid's awesome concert this past Friday night. It was for the Music Inspires Health concert series that was hosted at Lisner Auditorium at GW. I was actually surprised that it didn't sell out because Ingrid is HUGE! But, I'm not complaining because we got great seats and the tickets were 15 buckaroos. The opening acts were April Smith and Ari Hest. Ummm...tell me why I came home and downloaded their music??!! I'm currently obsessed with Ari Hest because 1. He's hot, 2. He sounds like Elvis with his deep voice 3. Although he has a deep voice, he has a beautiful falsetto and 4. He's hot. So yeah it was an eventful night because I got to finally see Ingrid live and I must say she's amazing and so lovable! There was some malfunction with one of her guitarists so she proceeds to play the piano and has the crowd singing with her on her version of the Intro song of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Amazing:) Musicians have the best job in the world. They play music all day everyday. What could be better than that?

Home

2008-04-20T14:11:00.002-04:00

I have 4 weeks and 6 days left before I'm home. I don't know why but I am really homesick! It may be the everyday drone of medical school that is getting me a little down. I wish I can get on a plane and fly home even for a day. But, that isn't practical. To me the money would be worth it, but it's way too expensive right now. Anyways, this is a waste of a post..

Clorox bottle

2008-04-19T14:34:00.004-04:00

Today is Saturday and the image of a large clorox bottle has been burned in my mind since Thursday. I went out to Virginia to shadow my CAP physician while he worked at a women's clinic for the afternoon. I knew before hand what type of clinic this was, but I really did not realize just how this visit would affect me.

In summary, I saw nine abortions in the span of an hour and a half. Virginia law allows only first trimester (12 weeks) abortions. I believe the District of Columbia allows abortion up into the second trimester. The latest term I observed was 11 weeks and 2 days.

I will not go into too much detail here just because I do not feel like reliving that 2 hour span just yet. My CAP physician is an amazing individual, I must say. After the day was over, we had a recap session and he asked me if I had any questions. Of course I had a million questions at this point, but I filtered my questions to just those I won't be able to find on my own. This narrowed it down to one important question, which centered around how he felt after doing his first abortion on a woman and how he deals with it emotionally patient after patient. I asked this because almost every woman was crying during and after the procedure was done. Their tears may have initially been spawned by the brutal clamping of the cervix but may have been exacerbated by the finality of their decision with the last pressure sucking sound of the vacuum. Do you know that sound a vacuum makes when it is struggling to suck up an object from the carpet or floor and then when it finally gets it up through the tube and the object makes its way into the vacuum container, it makes that strong pressure releasing sound? Now imagine me intently observing my CAP right behind him and underneath the hot lamp waiting to see what was to come out of this woman and into the clear vacuum tube. It was as expected. Slowly at first, clear fluid came out and then bright red blood and then a dark red mass. The pressure within the tubes then increased to get the large dark red mass into the vacuum container. The sound I was describing earlier happens right before you see the dark red mass. I'm assuming this dense material was the target of the vacuum tube. Finally, a quick dip into the clorox bottle to disinfect the tubes from HIV and other viruses and the switch is turned off from the vacuum.

I just could not help but imagine myself in the place of any of these women and how this two minute procedure could change the course of their life. I understand that abortions are necessary to give women options. Like my CAP physician says, "Everyone makes mistakes but I'm not that person to make them live with that mistake for the rest of their lives. I give them options." I'm still contemplating on his words as I think about the events of that Thursday afternoon.

The problem here is not understanding the necessity of abortions in women's health. It's more my problem in dealing with them emotionally. I imagined myself in the place of these women, but I also imagined myself not being able to go through with it. I also imagined myself as my CAP physician and turning the machine off before I inserted the tube into the cervix of the patient.

But I'm trying to reason this out. I want to go into public health. I feel that my education teaches me to be objective and to see it from my patient's point of view regardless of how I may feel about the situation. This is a conflict...a conflict between what my brain tells me what is right and what my heart and soul says is right.

I see a young girl who may have just finished high school and may not have the resources to rear a child on her own and I see how this procedure can help her situation because who knows? She may be on her way to college or she may be one of the sole earners in her household and may not afford for another mouth to feed. Whatever the reason, there is one. But... all my little heart sees at this point is the little 11 week fetus with a head and hands and legs and feet all on a petri dish submerged in clorox.

Biochem

2008-04-08T00:12:00.001-04:00

...just sucks the life right out of me. Stay tuned if I survive this round of exams.

status updates

2008-04-06T23:46:00.002-04:00

Nothing stresses me out more than status updates. Not even med school. These bastards who create functions like these drive me nuts because they really don't understand how it affects innocent people like myself! First off...status updates expire. Is there no way to just keep the status you chose a week ago..the one where you spent hours agonizing what to put there in the first place??!? For those who are lost to what I'm yapping about..I apologize. Sometimes, the faucet of words in my mind is on full blast and my fingers can't keep up with the typing. Stalker websites like facebook and myspace and bebo and gchat (yes, I have them all) will ask you what "your status is" and it usually will start with the words, in my case, "Annabelle is..." in which you fill in the rest of what you're currently up to.

The thing is, it's just absolutely boring when you put something like "tired" or "hungry". No one cares about those updates. They want something juicy like "..angry about something he/she just read" or "..thinking something dirty" or whatever. These updates are great because all the obsessive stalkers will be prompted to ask "what the hell kinda dirty thoughts you have?" And then life can progress as normal beyond that. The problem is thinking about things to write as the status update. In my case, great and spontaneous ideas come at the worst times! Like when I can't get to a computer fast enough because I'm stuck in a claustrophobic room listening to a biochem professor for more than 3 hours...or..this is even better..when I'm SLEEPING! I would be tucked oh so peacefully in my wonder bed when wham! A status update just appears and I'm forced to debate with my better half "myself" whether I should get up and turn on the computer or just give up on possibly the best idea of what a status update should be.

*Sigh* This is what I struggle with everytime I log into any of these accounts and see the words "PLEASE UPDATE ON YOUR STATUS" because my last update expired. So what does a girl do? Give up and resort to putting b.s. like "tired" and "hungry". B-O-R-I-N-G!

Restless....

2008-04-02T21:38:00.004-04:00

Tell me why I have a biochem and physiology exam coming up in a week and all I can do is dream about summer vacation?? To make matters worse, I'm counting down the days already...7 weeks and 2 days exactly! This is when my happy ass will be on a plane to the city of sin to visit my familia and sit on the couch and wait for my 10 hour trip to Samoa, a place I still consider home after moving away 9 years ago. Gosh, it's going on ten years now that my family moved from a tiny little island in the South Pacific to Las Vegas, Nevada. It still feels like yesterday when I first walked into a Wal-mart and was absolutely amazed at how many cereal brands they had! I was used to choosing between corn pops, frosted flakes, or raisin bran.

So, yeah, it should be interesting to go home and see how things have changed. I'm sure there are many things that haven't though and these are the things I look foward to. For instance, there is this particular aroma that permeates the villages on Sunday morning. It smells like burning leaves mixed with a rich "green" smell. I know it doesn't make sense because green leaves don't really burn that well but that particular smell reminds me of home because every Sunday right after church at about 8 or 9 in the moring, you will see a haze of smoke all over from families making their sunday feast or toona'i. Samoans still cook through traditional means with what is called the "umu", an outdoor makeshift oven that uses hot stones to steam cook food under a blanket of banana leaves. This is where the smell of burning leaves and green leaves come from because you start burning dried leaves to make the stones hot and then with the food underneath the hot stones, you cover the whole spread with fresh green banana leaves.

Every Sunday, this toona'i marks the end of a long hard working week where extended families get together, eat good food, and spend quality time together. The only establishments open on Sundays are churches (of course) and a few mom and pop shops. What I remember most about Sundays is the ride home, on the back of my dad's pickup truck, from spending the afternoon at the beach. Before heading home, we would stop by the bakery to buy a loaf of freshly baked bread...the kind that you have to slice yourself. Me and the little sister would just pick out the center of the loaf and squish the bread between our fingers and mold it into little bread balls. These were the good old days of having salty fingers molding hot bread on the back of a truck and not looking forward to getting home to prepare for school the next day. This memory just makes me smile at how simple life was back then. Now, it's medschool stalking me to get off the computer to get back to studying....

Colors

2008-03-06T23:50:00.002-05:00

I learned today that Orange is NOT my color. It's just bad no matter how I put it on. I got an orange scarf as a thank you gift and although it may look fabulous while I'm holding it in my hands, it looks horrendous on my neck. I guess I shouldn't complain because I got it as a gift. Not to say I haven't not worn it because I did, and this is how I know I don't look good in orange. It looks a little on the tragic side on me. What a waste.

Well, maybe I'll try it on again sometime..maybe the shade wouldn't be so tragic and it will be doable.

Sara Bareilles

2008-03-06T23:48:00.001-05:00

GOD! I love her music! Sometimes I really wish I could write songs. In another life, I would be a total hippie with an el camino and a guitar in the trunk driving to a different gig every night. What a great life:) I'm saying this with a smile on my heart..

A tour of our Capitol

2008-03-06T23:25:00.004-05:00

My sister Deidre came into town a couple days ago and today I scheduled a private tour of the Capitol. Since I have an immunology exam on Monday, I figure the best way to study and be a diligent medical student was to act like a tourist while my sister is in town! So, here's the secret to getting a great tour of our nation's capital...email your congressman/woman and arrange for a free private tour of the Capitol and the White House. The White House tour takes up to a month in advance to plan, so I opted for the Capitol tour only.

So we got to Rayburn building a little after 10 am and immmediately got lost finding the office of Congressman Eni Faleomavaega, the incumbent of 20 years for the territory of American Samoa. When we finally found this office, we were greeted outside by a poster of all of our fallen soldiers. A little tidbit of trivia: American Samoa has the highest per capita deaths of soldiers from the war in Iraq. Seeing the face of Tina Time, a high school classmate of mine, made my eyes watery and insides feel queasy. War took her at such a young age. Before I write another line, I must say that I'm proud of Ms. Time. She makes us all fellow Lions very proud for her courage and valor while she helped fight for our freedom. Irregardless of how I feel about the war personally, you must know that I will forever be thankful and proud of our soldiers fighting for the freedoms I use and abuse everyday. Thank you!

Back to the tour....
So we started our tour with a very nice and articulate man named Joseph who loved to use the "forte". I cannot remember the names of all the rooms we visisted and saw but a few of the highlights are as follows: the original Supreme Court chamber, the door to Speaker Nancy Pelosi's office, the Dome, the Rotunda, and the room where amendments to our laws are made...the one we usually see on C-Span with the democrats sitting to the left of the room and the republicans to the right. I'm not sure if the Rotunda is the room where Thomas Jefferson used as an office and brilliantly used the acoustics of the floorings to his advantage and eavesdrop on the opposition. You can feel the conspiracy floating through the air in these buildings.

Well, after the tour, we went back to the Congressman's office and guess who we met? Yes, you guessed it! I finally got to meet Congressman Faleomavaega. In actuality, I lost count on the number of times I emailed his scheduler for a possible meeting, but I won't mention that to him. I'm just glad to meet the man, and he was great! Such a nice man! We could tell he was busy as he had his next appointment sitting and waiting on the couches outside his door, but he pretended not to notice and conversed with us about our backgrounds, schools, interests, etc. The man even offered me an internship to work with him in his office this summer. But....that's another story.

All in all, we had a great day! I love it when you don't expect anything to happen and great things happen. It's like planning a last minute roadtrip to Vegas and you come to find out your hotel room was upgraded, you won big at roulette, and got comped a great dinner at a fancy restaurant. Great stuff.

Thanks to Joseph for our fabulous tour today! Totally your forte dude:)

Disease specific or Infrastructure

2008-02-12T19:53:00.000-05:00

Today's blog is written in reponse to an article I read in an email titled "A unified effort on AIDS, Global Health Crises". Supposedly Bush just introduced a Bill urging Congress to approve an additional budget of $30 billion over the next 5 year targeting AIDS. Although I think this is awesome, especially coming from our current President, shouldn't there be diversity in how this type of funding is allocated? We have $30 billion here going specifically to AIDS in developing nations. What about other diseases that are constantly foreshadowed by AIDS and cancer like infectious diseases (ex: worms, malaria, dengue fever, etc.)? Some of these diseases are caused by poor health infrastructures within these nations. There are millions of people who do not have access to clean water, which is a major concern. Not only that, there are millions upon millions who do not have access to simple healthcare to address the rising problem with chronic diseases that are affecting the developing world. Chronic disease rates like heart disease, diabetes, and cancers used to be considered a problem seen mostly in developed nations but studies now show rates of these diseases increasing in populations in Africa and Asia.

My only problem with disease-specific programs like this budget targeting only AIDS is that a big concern is directed towards AIDS, which does affect millions of people, but is nowhere near being the top cause of mortality in the world. There are many other "killers" that need to also be addressed. I guess any money going into global health is better than none.

To conduct or not to conduct

2008-02-09T17:12:00.000-05:00

Original date: 09-06-06

I was walking through the hotel (venetian) this morning to the cafeteria and was suddenly struck with how loud the "hotel" music was playing. Mind you..it's like elevator music, but ALL classical in the early mornings. It was a group of violinists going full swing...would that be called a symphony? Anyways, I just couldn't help myself but proceeded to flick both my hands in rhythm to the music like a conductor. The music just consumed my every being and I could not, for the life of me, help myself from doing this. Oh and I got pretty serious at it too and proceeded with the violent head movements that conductors do when changing his instructions to the different groups of instruments. I realize that I'm sounding like a "music idiot" right now because I have no idea what the correct jargon is for all this. But yeah, that's my story for the morning.

How do you take your...

2008-02-09T17:11:00.000-05:00

Has anyone noticed how terribly stressful it is to order breakfast? In all honesty, I never noticed this until just the other day, mostly because I am too distracted from the delicious food on the menu. Usually, people order breakfast food during breakfast hours (duh!) and maybe after a long night of drinking (a must!). In both of these occasions, the individual may not be fully prepared for the stress that the waitress/waitor is about to bombard them with. Good god! For instance, I was at a diner the other night and this really nice waitress came over and first asked me for my beverage of choice. After she retrieved my iced tea, she whipped out her pen and the little pad of notebook paper and started....

W: What would you like?

me: umm...well, corned beef hash and eggs please.

W: How would you like your eggs?

me: scrambled

W: How would you like your hashbrowns?

me: uhh....cooked? oh, but not too crispy please:)

W: What kind of side would you like? Toast, which comes in white, wheat, rye, or mutli-grain...English muffin..or you can choose from our assortment of fresh oven-baked muffins, which are blue-berry, bran, banana nut, cheesecake pumpkin, cornbread, or poppyseed???

me: (While she was going through this long list of delicious choices, I just could not handle the fact that in point two seconds she will require an answer and I lost her at the blue-berry muffins! What the hell am I going to do? I want her to repeat the muffins, but she looks like she's going to sit on me! At this point, I am so frail from starvation that I know I won't be able to defend myself if she were to sit on me so I proceed with my answer..) I will have the english muffin please...toasted.

W: What kind of jam? Strawberry, grape, marmalade.....

me: (Thinking...why can't you have the assortment on the table like most restaurants do in those cute little caddies?) Umm...strawberry...

W: What kind of syrup?

me: syrup?

W: For your pancakes.

me: (Thinking...I get pancakes! I kind of missed that on the menu. What kind of syrup? Is she really serious?? What would she say if I said "maple syrup from the deep forests of New England"??) I laugh and she gets annoyed...oops. Umm...maple please.

W: Is there anything else you would like?

me: (Thinking..NO...THANK GOD!) No that will be all thank you!

W: Your order will be up soon.

OMG! See how stressful that was?? All these choices put in all those questions! Mind you, she was talking uber fast. I was completely sober and wide awake during this specific interaction, but I can't imagine successfully ordering food when I am either just waking up or completely trashed! Not only will I be completely stunned if I was in either of the aforementioned situations, but I will be left to starve from not completing my order... This is tragic. We all know how important breakfast is...

A Halo at the Entrance

2008-02-09T17:09:00.000-05:00

Dated: 10-5-07

Before I go into the topic of this particular blog, I just want to say hi to all you people out there. Yes you! The one reading this public service announcement. The one I want to talk to but just can't seem to find the time to because of a contract I signed about a month ago...the one involving me to hand over my soul while writing out a check with an ungodly amount. Yes you. I just want to say hello. Oh and maybe I should wish you happy birthday, Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukah and Happy New Year while I'm at it. Who knows when my next public service announcement will be:)

Okay so the title of this blog is appropriate to the situation I was in and you will see why in just a moment. A couple days ago, a couple friends from my med school class were discussing about going out to Virginia to go grocery shopping. I chimed in that I needed to go grocery shopping as well but since I was just going to wait until the weekend to do so. They immediately stopped their conversation to tell me about this grocery store they were going to. Long story short, it was absolutely necessary that I accompany them to this store named Wegman's. Funny name, you think... (chuckles to self). You just have no idea just yet what this place entails but I will tell you.

So we drove about 45 minutes out into Virginia where there are trees and fresh non-city air that pumps regenerative life into my lungs and therefore my soul. (There is something about fresh air that when breathed makes colors seem more vibrant and people seem more friendlier...to a point where you just want to give them hugs with substance). This was after class, by the way and it was almost dinner time so my tummy was starting the intro to the jungle thunder drum roll. Needless to say, I needed food and it was appropriate that we were going to a grocery store. I foresaw myself munching through a bag of cheetos selecting fresh fruits and vegetables from the produce section.

We then parked the car and were ready with our check cards and appetite to tackle "The Wegman's". To me it's called heaven, but the store is called Wegman's...a chain us westcoasters have no idea about. But as we walk through the front doors, words cannot accurately describe what happened to me. It felt as if a divine spirit filled me up and I heard angels singing in the background. (I love background music by the way). The gates were opened and they were letting me into heaven, I thought! "Are you sure I should be here, I asked". I thought I said it in my head but maybe I thought a little too loudly because my friends were like..."dude just grab a cart and let's go". This snapped me right out of my divine experience and straight back to business. Grocery shopping is fun but let me tell you. I get downright in the zone with my cart. My mind is focused on that grocery list and mapping out the aisles so no distractions are allowed on this journey. Nope! It's all business. Our first stop, though, was food. And I didn't even realize what that meant until we stepped foot into the foodcourt. That's right, folks! There is a FOODCOURT in the grocery story. Genius! Whoever thought this up was no fool.. People are always on the brink of starvation when they go grocery shopping...well at least I am. That's why I go grocery shopping...BECAUSE I'M HUNGRY! I don't want to be in there after eating a buffet. I feel nauseous at that point and cannot even think of food much less buy some for later. But this was no ordinary food court. There was a buffet line but there were also lines of those glass cases that usually holds meat and fish products at grocery stores...you know..the kind where you have to ask the meat or fish guy to weigh some shrimp or cut meat in a particular way for you. Yes, those kind! But there was cooked food in there instead! And there were "food guys" waiting to help you make your selection. "Just let me know what you want, miss, and I will get you whatever you want". Such magical words. I stuttered then stumbled into confusion. Where has this place been all my life? Am I dreaming? I was in the middle of checking by pinching myself when I stumbled into cookie corner. I nearly fainted. They had a "COOKIE CORNER"! All that flashed through my mind were screaming fans at an N'Sync concert........way back in the day. Cookies of all shapes and sizes were available to you, the grocery shopper. So you can munch on them while you select your fruits and vegetables in the produce section. This place is a caveat to grocery shoppers. You will spend extreme amounts of money in this store because of unforeseen spending through aisles such as the cookie corner.

After recovering with a plate of Chinese food (remember the buffet line), we finally got to do what we came for and hit that grocery list. So we started with the produce section. But all of you who know me well, knows that my relationship with produce entails apples and cucumbers...maybe you can throw in some lettuce and the occasional tomatoes (only for cooking) but it's pretty standard and nothing too fancy. In other words, I do NOT have butternut squash EVER on my list. With that said, this should be a quick affair in getting through the produce section. BUT NO! I was surrounded in glory and unconsciously I started putting fruits and vegetables in my cart...things I never really heard of. When am I ever going to use string beans? It requires boiling and I don't have time to boil water...it takes forever! I barely have time to do laundry! In reality, I am not this incompetent but you get the general picture of this situation. Asian pears, check. Purple garlic, check. Baby bok choy, check. A suspicious looking bunch of green leaves, check. I really had to take that bunch back when no one was looking...I sort of felt sophisticated in a healthy way by putting it in my cart, but in reality it would just have grown into something else in my fridge. And so reasoning kicked in and I put it back. Sad. But, I cheered up knowing our next two destinations were the dairy section and the cereal aisle. (Speaking of which I'm getting hungry and am going to get a bowl of cereal...be right back!)

Back. So now we are in the dairy aisle. This section of the grocery store gets quite complicated. In my opinion, no one really knows how much milk is left at home. I try to guess that I might have just enough milk to last me through a couple bowls of cereal so I may need to get another half a gallon...but come to find out at home that my estimation was under by about 2 more bowls of cereal which means I need to compensate by eating cereal twice a day for a couple days to catch up to my milk intake regimen so that carton 2 doesn't go bad by the expiration date. It really does get this complicated. And no one ever remembers about the cheese situation at home....especially because there are so many to choose from! You eat provolone or swiss with sandwiches, then maybe some sharp cheddar with the dish that needs baking and then some mixed cheese packets for the occasional mexican dinner night. It's endless. So, yes, I get stuck in the dairy aisle for quite some time. But that's okay. I needed some milk anyways.

We then moved on to the cereal aisle. Mind you....I'm just piling things into my cart on the way to these aisles. Pretzels, toilet paper, dishwashing liquid, pasta sauce...they all just appeared in the cart at the end. I don't quite remember how this happened but to tell you the truth, I was fully focused on these 3 aisles only. Cereal is next....and yes....I saw the box all the way from the end of the aisle. Two words...Honey Smacks. Yes, my friends. I almost fell on my knees to kiss the ground. This store carries Honey Smacks. You just don't realize how important this fact is! Not many stores carry this cereal! First of all, the stores in DC do not carry too many products because they usually carry convenience items...not thinking that maybe some poor soul out there just dreams of buying honey smacks. But that's just minor detail. This store carries Honey Smacks and I'm elated. At this point, I'm already formulating a letter to the company stating how they rock my socks in the grocery shopping experience. And as we proceed to the checkout line, my eyes scope out the scene one last time to find a huge section of the store that we missed....the organic section. As in, everything organic from clothes to tea bags. We didn't have time and the resources to hit this section up (mind you, we are on a medical student budget which is pretty damn near poverty) but I felt surge of happiness for the hippies out there who need products like these. (Disclaimer: I do use organic products and feel a little too cool using them for some reason).

And this was my shopping experience. I'm still in awe that something like this exists. Hardwood floors, high ceilings, perfect lighting.....and let me tell you...lighting is everything in a grocery store. We do not need people squinting at the bunches of green leaves trying to decipher which one to take home because there is not enough light. That would be a disaster in itself.

A new hobby

2008-02-09T16:51:00.000-05:00

Earlier this week, a classmate invited me to play squash with him. I, being up for anything other than mindlessly pumping on the elliptical, was ecstatic to learn a new sport and getting some cardio in at the same time. This was a Tuesday after I endured an hour and a half of Extreme Training class on Monday night. Let me paint a picture for you: It's Satuday and I'm still sore from Monday. Needless to say, on Tuesday I was barely surviving walking up a flight of stairs. But, I wanted to play squash anyways. This turned out bad because I didn't know the court rules and didn't have the proper shoes on. Supposedly, Nike Shox aren't allowed on the squash courts because they're dark soled shoes. Boo.

So Friday came along where we had a grueling 3 hour immunology exam. After, we decided to pick up some games of squash. There was me and three other guys from class. I was quickly taught the rules and then we were off. Two on one court against each other, and then the other two were on the court next door. Let me just provide you with some background. I played tennis for almost 15 years. And if anyone reading this knows what tennis is all about, it's all about memory muscles. After playing the sport for that long, you just know how to do certain things like strokes, swings, volleys, and footwork like the back of your hand. It's almost like riding a bike, where you do everything really thinking about it, but the only real thing that leaves your memory is the feel for the ball when you hit it and maybe your reflexes. I've been hit too many times by the tennis ball so reflexes are not a concern for me anymore. Just hit me already.

So anyways, we start playing and I'm getting my ass handed to me game after game. Mind you, hitting the ball isn't a problem...well...let's just say that I started hitting the ball with the strings after a long warmup. Disclaimer: the head size of a tennis racket is considerably larger than a squash racket. So I'm hitting the ball, but I'm just not getting the angles of the court! What's so frustrating is that you can hit every possibly wall in this little room just as long as the ball hits the front wall before it bounces on the floor. What kind of jacked up game is this?? And me being spacially retarded, I was getting killed by these guys! And I mean slaughtered. Zero points. Bagels. Donuts. Nada. I couldn't even begin to tell you how many times I ran into the wall! Yes. Your girl here collided into a non-moving wall like a train on tracks going full speed with nothing able to stop it. Good thing the wall was sturdy. If it was glass, we could have had some major problems there...like that one time back in tennis camp where I ran into a glass sliding door. Such bad memories resurfacing.

So, yeah. You could say I had a little adventure learning a new hobby. But, I must say that even though it's probably the most frustrating sport I have ever played, it's definitely a lot of fun and I'm already hooked. I need to go buy a racket of my own now.