Wal-mart is the devil

...it really is!! You plan to go into Wal-mart to buy ONLY a handful of things, but your plans get shattered once you enter this monster of a store. I mean... I went into Wal-mart today to get 3 things...3!! It was toilet paper (I was literally on my last square of toilet paper...I was actually cursing myself for wasting 2 squares on the last roll I threw away), sandwich baggies, and detergent. But what happened? Obviously not the game plan. But business strategists are so smart when they strategize the floor plans of these super-marts. They calculate the routes of shoppers and strategically place items that catch the shoppers eyes in prime spots so that...for me in example...as I am reaching up on the shelf to retrieve my Purex concentrated detergent, my eyes also catch the clorox bottle next to it as well as the bounce fabric softener. Of course I need these other two items! I cannot possibly do laundry without clorox and bounce...even if I may have some leftover bounce at home. The thought of possibly running out of bounce is too much to handle at the moment, and I instinctively snatch a box and throw it into my cart.

What is worse is that, although I only have 3 items on my original list, it still requires me to find the toilet paper and the sandwich baggies. And you're forced to peruse ALL the aisles of wal-mart to find these items! Especially sandwich baggies! They're incredibly hard to find because they are NEVER where they're supposed to be. It's just like loofas. You can never find a loofa where the body washes are located. Usually, loofas are in some random aisle hanging suspiciously from a clip...and you're left to wonder "what the hell is a loofa doing here?"...when YOU DON'T NEED A LOOFA!

Anyways..back to my rant. So, I'm trying to find the sandwich baggies and I come across the school supplies aisle. And there is never a good enough reason to walk through this aisle without carefully checking out the prices of all the highlighters. They are way too expensive in most stores that you CANNOT ignore highlighters in a wal-mart...so I grab some and throw them into the cart on top of the bounce, purex, and clorox. Now...remember the strategists? Those punks. After the school supplies aisle, it all goes downhill. The snacks are next and this takes a considerable amount of your time because no one ever remembers if there's enough snacks to last the week/month. I mean...your stomach wins out every time. In they go into the cart with the toxic chemicals and highlighters.

Now, once you pass the snack aisles...it's really downhill because you are so far away from your original list at this point that you forget what you're looking for and as you're walking and scratching your head trying to remember what you even came to wal-mart for (toilet paper), you manage to maneuver your cart into the clothing section. And before you know it...you have finally made your way to the toilet paper section after miraculously finding the hidden aisle that stores the sandwich baggies and you could barely push your cart to the register. At this point, you are so tired, super hungry, and as the cashier is ringing you up...cursing wal-mart for stealing your money because you only planned to get three things when you walked in the door but you have managed to be swindled into buying a cart load of "necessities".

I love wal-mart.