A Halo at the Entrance

Dated: 10-5-07


Before I go into the topic of this particular blog, I just want to say hi to all you people out there. Yes you! The one reading this public service announcement. The one I want to talk to but just can't seem to find the time to because of a contract I signed about a month ago...the one involving me to hand over my soul while writing out a check with an ungodly amount. Yes you. I just want to say hello. Oh and maybe I should wish you happy birthday, Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukah and Happy New Year while I'm at it. Who knows when my next public service announcement will be:)

Okay so the title of this blog is appropriate to the situation I was in and you will see why in just a moment. A couple days ago, a couple friends from my med school class were discussing about going out to Virginia to go grocery shopping. I chimed in that I needed to go grocery shopping as well but since I was just going to wait until the weekend to do so. They immediately stopped their conversation to tell me about this grocery store they were going to. Long story short, it was absolutely necessary that I accompany them to this store named Wegman's. Funny name, you think... (chuckles to self). You just have no idea just yet what this place entails but I will tell you.

So we drove about 45 minutes out into Virginia where there are trees and fresh non-city air that pumps regenerative life into my lungs and therefore my soul. (There is something about fresh air that when breathed makes colors seem more vibrant and people seem more friendlier...to a point where you just want to give them hugs with substance). This was after class, by the way and it was almost dinner time so my tummy was starting the intro to the jungle thunder drum roll. Needless to say, I needed food and it was appropriate that we were going to a grocery store. I foresaw myself munching through a bag of cheetos selecting fresh fruits and vegetables from the produce section.

We then parked the car and were ready with our check cards and appetite to tackle "The Wegman's". To me it's called heaven, but the store is called Wegman's...a chain us westcoasters have no idea about. But as we walk through the front doors, words cannot accurately describe what happened to me. It felt as if a divine spirit filled me up and I heard angels singing in the background. (I love background music by the way). The gates were opened and they were letting me into heaven, I thought! "Are you sure I should be here, I asked". I thought I said it in my head but maybe I thought a little too loudly because my friends were like..."dude just grab a cart and let's go". This snapped me right out of my divine experience and straight back to business. Grocery shopping is fun but let me tell you. I get downright in the zone with my cart. My mind is focused on that grocery list and mapping out the aisles so no distractions are allowed on this journey. Nope! It's all business. Our first stop, though, was food. And I didn't even realize what that meant until we stepped foot into the foodcourt. That's right, folks! There is a FOODCOURT in the grocery story. Genius! Whoever thought this up was no fool.. People are always on the brink of starvation when they go grocery shopping...well at least I am. That's why I go grocery shopping...BECAUSE I'M HUNGRY! I don't want to be in there after eating a buffet. I feel nauseous at that point and cannot even think of food much less buy some for later. But this was no ordinary food court. There was a buffet line but there were also lines of those glass cases that usually holds meat and fish products at grocery stores...you know..the kind where you have to ask the meat or fish guy to weigh some shrimp or cut meat in a particular way for you. Yes, those kind! But there was cooked food in there instead! And there were "food guys" waiting to help you make your selection. "Just let me know what you want, miss, and I will get you whatever you want". Such magical words. I stuttered then stumbled into confusion. Where has this place been all my life? Am I dreaming? I was in the middle of checking by pinching myself when I stumbled into cookie corner. I nearly fainted. They had a "COOKIE CORNER"! All that flashed through my mind were screaming fans at an N'Sync concert........way back in the day. Cookies of all shapes and sizes were available to you, the grocery shopper. So you can munch on them while you select your fruits and vegetables in the produce section. This place is a caveat to grocery shoppers. You will spend extreme amounts of money in this store because of unforeseen spending through aisles such as the cookie corner.

After recovering with a plate of Chinese food (remember the buffet line), we finally got to do what we came for and hit that grocery list. So we started with the produce section. But all of you who know me well, knows that my relationship with produce entails apples and cucumbers...maybe you can throw in some lettuce and the occasional tomatoes (only for cooking) but it's pretty standard and nothing too fancy. In other words, I do NOT have butternut squash EVER on my list. With that said, this should be a quick affair in getting through the produce section. BUT NO! I was surrounded in glory and unconsciously I started putting fruits and vegetables in my cart...things I never really heard of. When am I ever going to use string beans? It requires boiling and I don't have time to boil water...it takes forever! I barely have time to do laundry! In reality, I am not this incompetent but you get the general picture of this situation. Asian pears, check. Purple garlic, check. Baby bok choy, check. A suspicious looking bunch of green leaves, check. I really had to take that bunch back when no one was looking...I sort of felt sophisticated in a healthy way by putting it in my cart, but in reality it would just have grown into something else in my fridge. And so reasoning kicked in and I put it back. Sad. But, I cheered up knowing our next two destinations were the dairy section and the cereal aisle. (Speaking of which I'm getting hungry and am going to get a bowl of cereal...be right back!)

Back. So now we are in the dairy aisle. This section of the grocery store gets quite complicated. In my opinion, no one really knows how much milk is left at home. I try to guess that I might have just enough milk to last me through a couple bowls of cereal so I may need to get another half a gallon...but come to find out at home that my estimation was under by about 2 more bowls of cereal which means I need to compensate by eating cereal twice a day for a couple days to catch up to my milk intake regimen so that carton 2 doesn't go bad by the expiration date. It really does get this complicated. And no one ever remembers about the cheese situation at home....especially because there are so many to choose from! You eat provolone or swiss with sandwiches, then maybe some sharp cheddar with the dish that needs baking and then some mixed cheese packets for the occasional mexican dinner night. It's endless. So, yes, I get stuck in the dairy aisle for quite some time. But that's okay. I needed some milk anyways.

We then moved on to the cereal aisle. Mind you....I'm just piling things into my cart on the way to these aisles. Pretzels, toilet paper, dishwashing liquid, pasta sauce...they all just appeared in the cart at the end. I don't quite remember how this happened but to tell you the truth, I was fully focused on these 3 aisles only. Cereal is next....and yes....I saw the box all the way from the end of the aisle. Two words...Honey Smacks. Yes, my friends. I almost fell on my knees to kiss the ground. This store carries Honey Smacks. You just don't realize how important this fact is! Not many stores carry this cereal! First of all, the stores in DC do not carry too many products because they usually carry convenience items...not thinking that maybe some poor soul out there just dreams of buying honey smacks. But that's just minor detail. This store carries Honey Smacks and I'm elated. At this point, I'm already formulating a letter to the company stating how they rock my socks in the grocery shopping experience. And as we proceed to the checkout line, my eyes scope out the scene one last time to find a huge section of the store that we missed....the organic section. As in, everything organic from clothes to tea bags. We didn't have time and the resources to hit this section up (mind you, we are on a medical student budget which is pretty damn near poverty) but I felt surge of happiness for the hippies out there who need products like these. (Disclaimer: I do use organic products and feel a little too cool using them for some reason).

And this was my shopping experience. I'm still in awe that something like this exists. Hardwood floors, high ceilings, perfect lighting.....and let me tell you...lighting is everything in a grocery store. We do not need people squinting at the bunches of green leaves trying to decipher which one to take home because there is not enough light. That would be a disaster in itself.