Today was a little interesting...which is surprising considering that all I have been doing for the last few weeks involved me being permanently plastered to a chair and table. So this was a treat...sort of.
Today, we were trained on the Genital-urinary exam and I performed my first prostate and rectal exam on a male. Now, I know what you're thinking. But, you have to understand that for the past year and a half of my medical school career, ALL of my patients have been women because I follow around an OB/GYN. Not that I'm complaining because I'm really interested in going into something related to women's health. But when something so different comes around, IT'S INTERESTING!
First, I have to say that our standardized patients were great today. They were extremely professional and very proficient in teaching this exam. I honestly cannot imagine getting multiple speculum exams multiple times in one day by a number of different people, but I guess they are very well compensated for their "troubles". But still...compensation would have to be SUBSTANTIAL for me to agree to get up on the stirrups voluntarily and more than once...and even if that were the case, I can honestly say that I would still say "NO!" So, I'm really grateful that there are people who are willing to sacrifice their bodies and a little of their dignity so little pre-docs like me can learn:)
Also, I have come to the conclusion that the woman's wellness exam is not only much more difficult- it's extremely messy! I mean...guys have it so much easier. A cough here and there, a "minimal" prod in the rear, and we can call it a day. Well, it's not that simple but...just the speculum exam alone requires some hard knock thinking. Have you ever held one of those speculums? It LOOKS dangerous and I'm sure if you tried walking through airport security with it, you will get tackled to the ground by a dude of substantial weight and size, at the minimum! And the instrument has to be manipulated with only one hand, while the other hand figures out all the swabbing and collecting of samples. Opportunities for technical difficulties are at every corner.
What's even worse is that I'm one of those people who's facial expressions give away everything that goes on in the brain. It's a real surprise that I come away from poker tables with some money still in my pocket. So while I fumble awkwardly with the speculum, my face sells me out on the fact that a) i have no idea what i am doing (BIG surprise here!) b) i'm agitated from no sleep and not eating all day and c) all i want to do is sit on the beach, which is what i always want to do. Oh...let me add that a festive but strong cosmo is very much needed, which would be d.
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